She was reluctant to raise a stink.
A woman has sparked a raging debate online after wondering about the ethics of complaining to human resources about her overweight colleague’s offensive odor.
She aired her dilemma in a post in the popular parents’ forum Mums.net that’s currently blowing up online.
“Aibu for wanting to speak to HR regarding a smelly colleague?” inquired the unnamed poster in the query, which evoked a spinoff of the popular “Am I The A–hole” subreddit.
“Long story short, I have a colleague who has worked with us for years but has an awful smell,” the poster explained. “Unfortunately her body odor is overwhelming and makes me feel very nauseous.”
She added, “I’m very sensitive to bad smells and I get a waft of the bad smell because she’s placed herself directly next to me.”
The mother analogized the aroma to a combination of “fecal matter, a period pad left in the sun and a wet mop.”
To make matters worse, the complainant reportedly can’t move desks or change offices, per the original post, in which she claimed she “heaved at lunch” because the smell was so offensive.
The poster then, somewhat controversially, pointed out that the source of the stench was “morbidly obese,” explaining, “We have quite a few larger colleagues that work with us but they never have an odor. I’m just really struggling to get through my day without walking up to HR and saying there’s an issue.”
The poster said she’s been hesitant to mention the issue to others for fear of being “vile,” but feels as if she’s reached her olfactory breaking point.
“I need to share the issue because I’m struggling to get through my day,” the woman concluded. “That’s all I can say and I’m really and truly suffering.”
Many viewers sympathized with the woman’s plight with one commenting.
“No me & a colleague did this some years ago about another colleague,” responded one commiserator. “Our manager had a word with him & he was really upset but it was horrific to sit beside. To be fair the next week he came in clean-shaven & washed & we never had that problem again!”
“Well obviously [the] first stage is to speak to the person’s manager but if you’ve done that and no change then yes speak to HR, That’s not unreasonable,” suggested another. “Whatever someone’s size they (assuming no major health issue) can shower and wash clothes. It’s horrible for people to have to sit next to that kind of smell all day. So no, not unreasonable at all.”
A third wrote, “I couldn’t sit there. I’m terrible with smells and genuinely retch when I smell something like you describe. That sounds vile. I think you should go to HR. Amazed how she can’t smell herself.”
However, other commenters wondered why it was necessary to bring up the person’s size with one critic writing, “I’m not sure why weight is relevant?”
“This is a disgusting thread,” decried another. “Weight is not relevant in terms of hygiene. Anyone can smell or not adequately take care of their hygiene. “
They added, that “just because someone is fat does not mean they have a problem with body odor. I’m fat and I don’t actually sweat much. Never get damp underarms but of course, shower, use good deodorant etc, wear clean clothes daily etc etc. Have never had a problem with hygiene.
The person acknowledged that while an “obese person has more skin folds” they “do know how to wash and take care of ourselves” and that “fat people care about their hygiene as much as anyone else.”
“Some of the posts on here are just disgusting fat bashing, and frankly very offensive,” the offended party concluded. “Some of you can’t wait to sneer at fat people, you love it. Hope it makes you feel better about yourselves.”
Needless to say, dealing with body odor in the office can be a thorny issue, akin to tap-dancing around lasers.
The Society For Human Resource Management writes that “depending on the strength of relationship with the offending employee, HR or the manager should meet with the employee to bring the matter to the employee’s attention.”
“Gently pointing out the strong odor and asking for a response from the employee is critical,” the org explained. “If appropriate, HR or the manager should reference the company’s dress and grooming policy and the negative effect on the employee’s contributions can be discussed.”
However, they added that the employee should be able to discuss the issue and offer possible solutions.
Meanwhile, if said employee claims they suffer from a medical condition, HR and management should reassure the accused and provide possible accommodations.
In general, SHRM advised managers to handle the matter with “sensitivity.”