New relationships, volatile divorces, terrifying health scares and many, many cockies make up The Real Housewives of Miami Season 6. Ahead of this week’s episode, Decider sat down with longtime star Marysol Patton, who dished on everything going on in the Sunshine State.

When we last saw Patton, she attempted to offer some friendly advice to Lisa Hochstein, whom she endearingly refers to as “Monkey,” about minimizing the talk of her ex-husband Lenny Hochstein in front of her new boyfriend, Jody Glidden. Lisa and Lenny have been embroiled in a messy divorce — one that Patton tells us is “nothing like” her own divorces, which were “just as quick and quiet” as her marriages were.

Aside from playing therapist, Patton has also been going at it with Adriana de Moura, who, according to her, “just wants to ruin the mood.” Their beef began last season when de Moura revealed that Patton’s ex-boyfriend had allegedly made a pass at her and claimed that he never loved Patton. While de Moura tried to apologize during the Season 5 finale, Patton wasn’t ready to forgive her — and their troubles have only continued in Season 6.

Moreover, Patton is setting the record straight over Julia Lemigova‘s “absurd” assumptions that Alexia Nepola had to ask her husband for permission to room with her because she’s a lesbian (“I always tell Alexia, ‘Wherever we go, we’re sharing a room.’ She doesn’t have a choice. I decide, it’s not Todd,” Patton explains). Plus, she says she has a “bone to pick” with “troublemaker” Kiki Barth, who suggested that she could’ve switched the date of her medical appointment so she could attend Lemigova’s party, which was being held at de Moura’s house.

While chatting with Decider, Patton spilled all the tea from this season’s drama, right down to what cocktail each of her castmates would get based on their personalities (Larsa Pippen would get a Screwdriver “because she loves to screw” and Barth would get a Sex on the Beach because “she’s a little pervert”). Keep reading for the full interview.

Q: You’ve been on Miami since Season 1. You are obviously a fan favorite for many, myself included. What is your secret to longevity as a housewife?

A: I don’t know, you gotta ask the producers that. Ask them why they still have me here. I have no idea. I’m always waiting for them to call me and say, “You know, it’s not working anymore.” I don’t know. And then I’m like, “Don’t put that in the universe, Marysol. You love your job. Don’t put that in the universe.” But you know, you never know if they get tired of the same old shit. 

There are some new relationships this season with both Lisa and Larsa. What do you think about the new men in their lives?

Well, this is an easy question. Marcus [Jordan] is — I just adore him. He’s so great and so cool. He just like glides in a room. He’s just the epitome of cool, and he’s just lovely. And he’s really into her and she seems over the moon. So, you know, yay Larsa.

Jody’s very sweet, too. He’s very gentle. He’s quiet. He’s kind and Lisa’s very lucky that she was able to bounce back quickly and find someone to be there for her because it’s been really hard. That’s been a tough one. And, you know, a lot of women don’t get so lucky to find somebody, you know, to be there immediately after a split — 15 year split. She found a really good one. So he seems really good and they’re both pretty lucky I think.

You tried to give Lisa some pointers about toning down the Lenny talk around Jody. From what you’ve seen since that conversation, has she listened to your advice?

No. Monkey likes to share, overshare, but she doesn’t want any advice or opinions. You’re just gonna listen and that’s it. 

There’s obviously a lot of back and forth between Lenny and Lisa in the press and on social media. As someone who has gone through divorce, do you think they’re going about it the wrong way?

My divorces were nothing like that. They weren’t like that — nothing like that. They were pretty peaceful. They were just as quick and quiet as my marriages were. It’s taken on a pretty ugly form. And at this point, it’s really bad. It’s just every week there’s something else that’s gotten really ugly and it’s not good for the kids. It’s not good for anybody’s mental state. And I think they’re both in this place of “I’m going to win.” And in the end, nobody really wins, right?

You and Adriana have really been going at it since last season. What do you think it is about Adriana that makes it difficult to forgive and forget? 

I’m just reacting to her, because for some reason, I piss her off. I don’t know if it’s because I’m always giggling, I’m always happy, but she always just comes in like this and she just wants to ruin the mood. I try not to get caught up in her nonsense. She can be angry by herself. I want to have fun with my friends. And I consider all the girls my friends. And when we get together, I want to have a good time. 

You guys are also coming back together for the first time since that flatulence fight for this trip to Palm Beach. What can you tell us about how that went?

Oh, well, you’ll be surprised at who’s actually starting it with me. That might not even be Adriana.

I know things have been rough between you guys. But when you watched her break down about her brother during her ketamine treatment, what went through your mind? 

I put myself in her position. I as well, around the same time she lost her father and her brother, I lost my mom and my dad and my cat and my house was hit by a hurricane. And the man I was living with moved out and dumped me and started dating everyone in town.

I got emotional [watching her] because I went through very difficult things like that too. And losing your family members is very hard. I mean, those are essentially the closest people to you in your life. You’re at a loss. It’s inexplicable, the loss and the pain that one feels when they lose their family members. So I cried because I’ve done that firsthand, too.

You sounded excited about Julia’s party until you heard it was at Adriana’s house. I know Kiki kind of suggested it — but do you think you would’ve tried to switch your medical appointment if it were somewhere else?

So there’s a two-fold answer to that. I couldn’t switch it because it was something that if I waited any longer, it could be very dangerous for me. So I had to do it. I had scheduled it 10 days before and Kiki knew that too, by the way. She was a little troublemaker. I got a bone to pick with her. Even if I didn’t have the surgery, I wouldn’t have gone. But I did have the surgery. 

I actually said to Julia, “When is it?” But that part didn’t make it. The only part that made it was, “It’s at Adriana’s.” So when she told me when it was I said, “I can’t because that’s Wednesday, and [on] Wednesday I have this procedure.” But I wouldn’t have gone, anyway. 

You weren’t there in person, but what did you think of Julia’s performance?

I’ll tell you this — I know that song by heart because I’ve heard her practice it in four different scenes and then perform it at the event. I text her, I’m like, “I know that song by heart.” She goes, “Martina says the same thing.” It was good. It takes a lot of balls to get up there and do that and sing opera.

That’s not an easy one.

No, that’s hard. I mean, what Adriana does with the synthesizers and everything and then she can just lip sync — that’s easy. To sing a capella, opera, you know, that’s next level.

Speaking of Julia, she left off this episode speculating that Alexia had to ask Todd for permission to share a room with her perhaps because she’s not a straight woman. What is your take on that situation? 

That’s absurd. I had no idea any of that was going on. I always tell Alexia, “Wherever we go we’re sharing a room.” She doesn’t have a choice. I decide, it’s not Todd. I’m the one who decides. I always tell [her], “Oh no, no, no, no, we’re sharing a room.” I also told her, “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Julia and now you’re going to share a room with me.”

So they can take it up with you, then.

They can take it up with me. She’s always gonna be my roomie. You just can’t have her, we’re like sisters.

Last year, it took Larsa a while to apologize to Nicole for the rumor drama. In this week’s episode, Larsa doubles down on her decision to tell a handful of the ladies about Guerdy’s diagnosis — even though everyone seems to agree that she shouldn’t have. Do you think Larsa has trouble with taking accountability? 

I think Larsa’s a strong personality and when she feels something’s right and she doesn’t feel like apologizing, she’s not gonna apologize. Do you want an apology that isn’t heartfelt? Then it’s really not an apology, then you’re forced to say something that you don’t even mean. So what’s the point? I wouldn’t want it if she didn’t want to give it. 

We know that you love your “cockies.” So, I was wondering — if you could assign a cocktail  to each of your castmates based on their personalities, what would they each get?

Julia’s a Moscow Mule. Kiki could be a Haitian Vacation. I don’t even know what that is, but I’m just giving her that one. Alexia loves my Screwdrivers. So she’s a Screwdriver. No, actually I’m gonna give Alexa a Cuba Libre. She’s a Cuba Libre, that’s a rum and coke … Actually, I’m gonna take it back. Kiki’s gonna get a Sex on the Beach because she’s a little pervert. And then Guerdy can have Haitian Vacation because she deserves a vacation.

Larsa doesn’t really like to drink but she likes my drinks. It’s funny how I get people to drink. I’ll give Larsa the Screwdriver because she loves to screw. I guess Adriana’s a Caipirinha because that’s a Brazilian drink. I’d give myself a Mojito because I deserve one by now. Monkey, oh gosh, I don’t even know what Monkey drinks. Give her a Harvey Wallbanger and Nicole can have, I don’t know, a tequila shot.

Is there anything else you can tease about the rest of the season?

Mexico is our cast trip. It was really good. That was fun. I had fun on that trip. And then towards the end, I renewed my vows in Scotland. Beautiful wedding. So while everybody’s here at a boring finale party, I was exchanging nuptials at a castle in Scotland. It was a dream, it really was. 

What made you decide to go to Scotland?

We were already going to go and I always wanted to get married in a castle and I thought, “Wow, I’m gonna make this happen.” And I remember when we were actually on the way with our friends in the car, my friend said to me, “Wow, man, you really manifested this.” I go, “Yeah, I manifested it with my checkbook! It’s like not somebody handed it to me.”

This interview has been edited for clarity and length.

The Real Housewives of Miami airs every Wednesday at 9/8c on Bravo. New episodes are available to stream the next day on Peacock.