Ippei Mizuhara, Shohei Ohtani’s former interpreter/treasurer, has been ordered to get gambling addiction treatment.

Don “Yippee” Reed, Stitches comptroller, interprets the treatment thusly.

“They are obviously concerned about the integrity of prison softball games.”

If you don’t want to end up playing shortstop for Team Mizuhara, remember today is Tax Day … and today is the day we squash the Twinkies.

Minnesota’s Louie Varland has made two starts, both losses, and surrendered nine runs in nine innings. Twins visit Baltimore.

Cole Irvin’s numbers (nine runs, 10 innings) mirror those of Varland.

It’s a slugfest, and this slug is taking the Orioles for $100 (-134, FanDuel).

Gored by the Guards! Down 5-4, the Yankees tied it in the ninth inning on Anthony Volpe’s double.

When the Yanks scored twice in the 10th, we felt like Scottie Scheffler on the 18th hole. And then … the triple bogey.

Cleveland scored three runs and won, 8-7. Andrés Giménez’s sac fly the game-winner.

Taxing loss takes us to -280 mattinglys.