Bottle of white. Bottle of red.

Perhaps a more worthy gift instead.

Times are tough.

Farewell tour for the Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera.

The future Hall of Famer’s last stop was Oakland, and the Athletics gifted Cabrera with a $90 bottle of wine.

There’s a $7 bottle of Cold Duck waiting for Stitches if this season continues to spiral.

The Orioles visit Cleveland.

Baltimore’s John Means returned Sept. 12 after having surgery on his throwing elbow and allowed three runs over five rusty frames.

He was better the second time around, limiting the high-octane Astros to one run.

The Guardians’ Cal Quantrill gave up two runs over 5 ²/₃ innings at K.C. and has won once in his last 10 games.

Play $50 on the Orioles.

Get that Cold Duck ready.

We’re dead ducks after the heavily favored Astros were crowned by the Royals 7-5.

Framber Valdez responsible for all seven runs.

Down -1,227 rustystaubs.