Good news for lawbreakers nationwide.

Hurricane Hilary (the storm, not the bag of wind) should be leaving L.A. by Tuesday, so you flash-mob robbers can get back to business by midweek.

In Chicago, a community group wants illegal gun carriers to not fire their weapons between the hours of 9 a.m. and 9 p.m.

Rival gangs are bargaining for 9 to 5.

And here in New York, the subway fare is higher, so turnstile jumpers will be saving $2.90 for every leap.

There should be a law for losing as many games as we have.

Maybe Sunday.

The Orioles visit Oakland.

$50 on Kyle Bradish and the O’s.

Stitches’ reader Don Reed warned me.

“Get ready for Booney-Tunes!”

Aaron Boone’s bunch were embarrassed.

Red Sox won 8-1.

Luis Urias’ grand salami off Geritt Cole put an end to this one about 20 minutes in.

YES network player of the game was Boston starter Kutter Crawford.

Stitches’ player of the game: DJ LeMahieu.

He went 0-for-4 and struck out three times.

Down -1,430 pepitones.