As any parent of a high schooler knows, embarrassing them socially is one of the perks of the job.
Dancing/singing in public, making lame/excellent jokes in front of their friends, or even just existing, can make for special parenting moments that make the whole job worth it.
But sometimes, we have to risk social embarrassment for something serious, as one Australian mom who was faced with a dilemma discovered this week.
The mom wrote in a parenting Facebook group:
“My 15-year-old son is going to his first party for a 16-year-old girl’s birthday. It’s a mixed pizza party where everyone is staying the night.
“Allegedly boys are sleeping in one room, girls in another. He has said the parents will be home and there will be no alcohol.
“I have asked my son for the mom’s phone number, and he has (reluctantly) given it to me. BUT am I being too overprotective if I ring the mom and ask about the alcohol and sleep arrangements?
“Or do I just give my son the benefit of the doubt and know that he is at the age where he will start going to parties and he will try things and just hope I ingrained the right things into him?”
The mom later added, “I didn’t want to embarrass my son by being too overbearing.”
Most parents encouraged the mom to reach out to the host, even if her son was embarrassed about her doing so.
“If I were the mom or [sic] the 16-year-old I would appreciate guests’ moms giving me a call,” one said.
“Yes, ring, it doesn’t hurt to touch base with the girl’s mother, that way you may at least get some peace of mind,” added another.
And one mom said to call but not text, because “it could be another kid’s number to throw you off.”
Once the original poster confirmed she was taking people’s advice and would be making a phone call, this parent warned:
“Just be aware (I’m sure you are already) that some parents also lie and that some kids are very sneaky, I have experienced this with my daughter and going out. I’m so not comfortable now letting her go, but know I have to let her do some things, it’s so hard being a parent to teens.”
And we loved this pragmatic advice: “Let him live a little… Just educate your kid to be responsible. He is in control.”
Finally, this mom shared her advice from experience: “I have two who just turned 16. I insisted on having a parent contact number for every friend that came to their party, and I wanted to hear from the parents that they had permission to come.
“I need to be able to contact them if something goes wrong. Pretty much every parent I spoke to was anxious about their child going to a 16th birthday… because hey, we were all there once.
“I reassured them there would be no alcohol or vaping and we actually locked up all the alcohol in our house. They all had a great night because we made sure they were entertained. Teens will be teens and my trust is minimal because they are opportunists as were we all at the same age.”