Melissa Etheridge has opened up about coping with her son’s death.
The Grammy winning singer, 62, lost her oldest son, Beckett Cypher, at age 21 in 2020 from causes related to opioid addiction.
In May 2020, Etheridge announced on social media, “Today I joined the hundreds of thousands of families who have lost loved ones to opioid addiction. He will be missed by those who loved him, his family and friends. My heart is broken. I am grateful for those who have reached out with condolences and I Feel their love and sincere grief.”
Etheridge ended her message by promising fans that she would “sing again” soon, because, “It has always healed me.”
Etheridge, who came out as gay in 1993, had Beckett with her ex-partner Julie Cypher. The former couple also share a 26-year-old daughter, Bailey Jean. Etheridge also has twins with her other former partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels – their son Miller and their daughter Johnnie – who were born in 2006.
“You know, the times I used to always text with him and talk with him,” she said in the newest episode of Hoda Kotb’s “Making Space” podcast, referring to Beckett.
“And so, it’s like he’s there. I’m like, ‘OK, good morning, you know, watch out for me all day.’”
Etheridge, who has been married to “Nurse Jackie” co-creator Linda Wallem, 62, since 2014, has had other hardships in her life, including battling breast cancer in 2004.
She released the memoir, “Talking to My Angels,” in September, and said the book’s title relates to talking to her late son, and late father.
“I lost my father when I was 30. I’d already been kind of pulling on his energy and asking that,” she continued on the podcast.
“And so, you know, I really feel surrounded. So I call it talking to my angels. That’s why the book is titled that because that energy, those lives, those souls that I have known that have been a part of my heart, are still supporting me.”
The singer also opened up about how she struggles with guilt over her son’s death.
“When I lost my son, I learned how much my capacity for love was,” she said. “Not only loving him and missing him and being OK, but loving myself enough not to go into major depression and guilt and shame which so many families that lose loved ones to opioid addiction.”
She said the “shame” from it is too big.
“It’s huge,” she added.
Etheridge also confessed that there are some days when dealing with the loss of her son is like a “shadow” that comes over her.
“And I find myself thinking, ‘Oh, what if? What if I had done this? What if I had only done that?’” she said. “And that doesn’t serve me, and it causes me pain. So my practice is to go, ‘No … he has gone from this physical world … he is part of that larger nonphysical space. When I’m in a dark space, I’m away from all of my loved ones,” she added.
“It’s my job to find my space again, of loving myself, going, ‘No, no, I did the best I could. And he made his choices.’”