Mayci Neeley is telling her own rags-to-riches story in her new memoir, Told You So, which hit stands earlier this week. In the book, the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star candidly writes of her Mormon background, her Division 1 college tennis career, an abusive relationship that pushed her into a period of hardcore partying, and the heartbreaking death of her ex-boyfriend, which came shortly after she found out she was pregnant with his baby at only 19 years old.

After Mayci found out she was expecting, her parents picked her up from school at Brigham Young University (which has a strict “no premarital sex” rule in its honor code) and brought her home to California, forbidding her to see her boyfriend, Aryk Mack, who was the first man she dated (and fell in love with) after leaving an abusive relationship. In the time she was home, Mayci learned that Aryk had once cheated on her, resulting in a blowout text argument during which she told him their child would have a new dad, and that he’d be paying her child support every month. The next day, Mayci learned that Aryk, also 19, had died in a car accident while texting her, asking for forgiveness.

When Decider caught up with Mayci, she was hopeful that her book would help people better understand her background, and why she tends to stay neutral amid all the drama in The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. “I have been through a lot, and I think because of that, I don’t like having beef with anyone,” she said. “I don’t like leaving things on a bad note because I know how precious and fragile life is and how soon it could be gone.”

Mayci welcomed her and Aryk’s son, Hudson, in 2015, before returning to school to complete her education and tennis career. She later met Jacob Neeley, who raised Hudson as his own and ultimately gave Mayci her well-deserved happily ever after. They got married in 2018, and welcomed their first daughter, Harlow, in 2021, and their second daughter, Charli, in 2025.

“I was feeling so many emotions,” Mayci said when asked about the process of writing her book. “There’s also joy in the book, right? You feel a lot of emotions—anger, sadness, happiness, joy. It ends happy, which is great. But you go through a roller coaster, for sure.”

When Mayci stopped by our studio this week, she shared which part of Told You So was the hardest to relive, how she and Jacob keep Aryk’s memory alive for Hudson, and whether she’d ever be open to doing a spinoff reality series about her family. Check out the full interview below.

DECIDER: I was so moved by your story. I can’t even tell you how many times I cried reading your book. You write that you’ve wanted to write a book about your life for the last decade. Why was now the right time?

MAYCI NEELEY: I just felt like over the years I was kind of compiling different things, writing different things, and then the opportunity presented itself. I had a publisher that I like got with, and it just worked out. I just was like, “This must be the time.” In the past, or even five years ago, I would go, “I’m going to write it now.” I’d start, and I’d be like, “I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel right.” And this time, it was almost like a feeling, I guess.

What was it like to go through and relive all of these moments in your life? What was the hardest part for you to write about?

I think the hardest ones for me to write were about the abuse. There are certain stories written that were really hard to write and to have to reread. I have said this before, but I feel like writing about the abuse that I experienced made me angry. But writing about the loss of my son’s father made me really sad. I was feeling so many emotions. There’s also joy in the book, right? You feel a lot of emotions—anger, sadness, happiness, joy. It ends happy, which is great. But you go through a roller coaster, for sure. But yeah, writing about the abuse was the hardest part, I think. 

With Mormon Wives having such a big cast, there is only so much we can see of everyone in a season, but I love that we are getting to really know a lot of you through Dancing with the Stars, through The Bachelorette, and, in your case, through this book. What is the No. 1 thing you hope people take away from this book, or learn about you through reading it?

I hope that they understand me more, because I do get a lot of people not understanding [me], like, “Why are you so neutral? Why are you on the fence? Why can’t you just be more opinionated?” I feel like I am at times. I’ll say things when I really feel like it’s necessary. But I think this book explains that. I have been through a lot, and I think because of that, I don’t like having beef with anyone. I don’t like leaving things on a bad note because I know how precious and fragile life is and how soon it could be gone. I think that’s why. People always ask, “Why are you [so neutral]?” I don’t know. I think it’s just the way that I am from the past. I hope they can take that away, but also get to know me a little bit better and my background with tennis, and kind of the inner workings of me, the more emotional side, and the deeper side to me. 

Everything that happened with Aryk just broke my heart. You talked about how you and Jacob first told Hudson about him when he was really young. What do those conversations look like now that he’s a bit older? How do you keep his memory alive for your son?

I think I kind of leave it up to my son. If he asks questions, we’re very open to them. We answer any questions he has. We went to a memorial for him. His old baseball team had an event where it was like a senior day, and they invited us to come and celebrate Aryk there, because he was their MVP. We did that and we got to see all the pictures and celebrate him. So, we definitely have those ways. And then he also hears about him from his grandparents. He gets to see them and he sees that side of him. He never feels like he’s growing up with any secret. We don’t want that for him. We want to be very open-minded and an open household where he feels comfortable asking us questions. 

We saw that in Secret Lives of Mormon Wives last season when you, Hudson, and Jacob met up with Aryk’s parents.

I feel like if you keep things normal, it’s not weird to see the grandparents. If you don’t see them very often, it makes it almost a secret. And I don’t want to have any secrets or have a feeling like, “Oh, this is weird.” When you introduce them to him that young, it’s normal for him now. It’s like nothing’s different.

It was also very interesting to read about your personal journey with the church, and how you plan to teach your kids about certain things. At one point, you say you’ll teach them not to drink but you’ll also teach them how to be safe with it if they do. Do you find that Mormons of your generation and younger generations are starting to move with the times a bit more and have a bit more leniency with this almost unattainable expectation for perfection that you’re all taught from so young?

Yeah, I would say so. I think the church has been progressing over the last 10 years or so. Things have been a little bit more modern day, I will say, if that’s the word for it. But I think at least in my house, and I think a lot of my friends and other Mormons have that similar feeling of moving away from a judgmental culture and being more open-minded by being like, “Hey, we prefer you don’t do these things because they can be harmful to you or your mental health or things like that. But if you do, let us know because we want to help you. We’re always going to be there for you. We’re always going to love you.” My dad did say, “You can come to me if you ever mess up.” But I was a little too deep in the hole to feel comfortable going to my dad. But I’m hoping to keep that open-door policy with my kids so that they always feel comfortable.

You talk about a lot of instances in your life, from the abusive relationship you were in, to that horrible Bishop you had to talk to every week, to your friends from college who turned on you. Do you think you’ll be hearing from anyone once this book comes out? Or have you already heard from anyone?

I hope not. Even in the book, I went hard towards the Bishop and things [because] I feel resentment there. [It’s] stuff that I would never like my daughters to go through in the future. I think that you can definitely feel the animosity there. But as far as my other friends that I lost, I feel like I wrote it fairly neutral to where I was like, “This did make me feel a certain way. But I look back and I wasn’t a perfect friend either, so I have to be open to the fact that maybe there was something else going on in their life [to make them] treat me this way and vice versa.” I hope I don’t get people feeling resentment or anything like that. At the end of the day, it’s my story and this is my opinion, and I have to be clear on that. Their experience is different from mine. But this is my experience. 

I found it interesting that you were almost going to be on reality TV before Secret Lives of Mormon Wives was even a thing. 

Years before [The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives], which was so random. But I remember at the time being like, “I don’t know if I’d ever want to do reality TV. I don’t know if this is right for me or my family.” And then it fell through and we were all kind of relieved, to be honest. Then this show happened and I was like, “Maybe I was just meant to be on reality TV. I don’t know.” I was actually really nervous to say yes to doing [The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives]. I was like, “If I don’t like it, I’ll do a season and I’ll be done.” I always say I can sleep at night, so it’s good. If I have moments where I stop sleeping at night and I’m anxious, maybe we’ll reevaluate. But for now, I’m pretty good.

If the opportunity to do some sort of spinoff show about you and your family ever came back around, what would you do?

I would ask the family. I would have to see. I don’t know. It makes me a little bit nervous just because I love my family. We’re a little crazy. There can be drama. So, I’m like, “I don’t know if I want to ruin those relationships.” I would definitely be hesitant. But, I’m still open to the idea. But maybe in a different light. We would have to see how it would be. Is it about tennis? That could be good, because my sisters are crazy tennis sisters. My mom was a crazy tennis mom. We should do a tennis version of Dance Moms. People don’t realize how crazy the tennis world is. 

Right. It’s also so amazing that you played your whole life, you had your baby, then you went back and finished college. Do you look back on that and realize how resilient you are?

I think now I do. At the moment, it was just normal for me. It felt like the bare minimum, to be honest, because it’s just how I was raised. I grew up on the tennis court every day. I’d be throwing up, and I’d have to go play a tournament the next day. It was just normal. That’s just kind of the way I was. Even when I tore my ACL, I was full-on going to go play right away. I didn’t even know I tore it. The way I was raised was very tough love. I think in those moments where I was doing so much, I just felt like it was normal. Looking back, I’m like, “Whoa, that’s actually kind of crazy that you did all that.” I feel like now I am more proud of it than I was back then. 

Your kids are going to look at that and be like, “Man, Mom, you killed it.”

That was part of the reason why I did it. Because I was a single mom. I was like, “I want my son to grow up and be like, ‘I can do this too. I can do whatever I put my mind to. My mom can do it. She did it with me when I was by her side. I can do anything.’”

You’ve written a book, you’ve done reality TV. What’s another thing you’re hoping to check off your bucket list?

The book was actually the biggest one for me, so now I’m gonna have to reevaluate and see. I definitely have a lot of hobbies and interests. I think I’m going to try to see what I want to pursue, what Macy wants to do. I’m still trying to figure it out, but I do love hosting. I would love to host a show. Honestly, I would love to have a show. I think that’d be really fun.

This interview has been edited for length and clairty.

Neeley’s book, Told You So, is out now. You can also watch her on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which is currently streaming on Hulu.