The infamous criminal and cult leader Charles Manson passed away years ago but, as displayed in the new Peacock docuseries, Making Manson, his actions are still felt by many. 

Throughout his life, he amassed a legion of followers and devotees adamant that their hero did nothing wrong. Only now, many years removed, they’ve been able to recognize the trauma they underwent while interacting with him.

Among these figures was Dianne Lake, a former Mason family member known colloquially as “Snake.” She was one of the first “Manson girls,” but also one of the youngest — Lake met the eccentric cult leader when she was 14 and in desperate need of a father figure.

Manson and the rest of the family instantly “love bombed” her and made her feel accepted. It wouldn’t be until the infamous murders and the coinciding trials that the allure began to wear off. Although she wasn’t directly involved in any of the crimes, she still felt immense pressure, fearful that sharing any information might somehow put her in danger.

After being released as a ward of the court, she was given an opportunity to get her life back on track, attending college and no longer under the influence of drugs or bad actors. But the memories still lingered.

“I still had, like, feelings for Charlie and for being in the family,” she admits in Making Manson. “I had been brainwashed, or whatever, into that allegiance. And that was hard to break because I think it had been so instilled in me. I mean, you know, I was traumatized.”

Since then, she has grappled with the inner conflict of whether Manson truly loved her and the others, or if he simply saw them as tools in his quest for power — a question that Catherine “Gypsy” Share, another longtime member of Manson’s commune, has also wrestled with. 

As an orphan, Share was searching for a sense of family, though she had no personal frame of reference.

In what she described as a “long road” to healing and recovery, she was only able to overcome the lasting effects of her time at the Spahn Ranch by redirecting the intense idolization she had once placed on Manson into a deep love for her son.

“Unless you’ve been in a situation where your mind has been completely taken over by someone, they call it a cult leader now, then it’s hard to understand how long it takes for you to be totally free,” she said.

Making Manson is currently streaming on Peacock.