Playing the field can be exhausting — when do you know it’s finally time to throw in the towel?
Hinge Director of Relationship Science Logan Ury is sharing the mathematical equation that reveals if you have found “the one.”
“When you’re dating, how do you know when you’ve found the right person?” the behavioral scientist and dating coach asked on Instagram last week.
Swiping through dating apps and social media, the pool of potential matches can seem endless, making it harder to commit.
“You might not want to commit too early in your dating journey, since you don’t know who’s out there — but if you wait too long, trying to do years of research, the pool of potential partners gets smaller,” Ury explained.
The relationship expert tells singles to think about dating like hiring an employee.
Ury highlights a mathematical theory called the “secretary problem.”
“Imagine you’re hiring a secretary. You have 100 candidates. You have to evaluate each one, one at a time. After every person, you have to say yes or no. You can’t go back to a previous candidate,” she said.
“At what point do you hire someone? If you hire too early, you don’t know what’s out there. If you hire too late, maybe all the great people have already passed.”
The “secretary problem” lends itself to the “37% rule”: Interview and reject the first 37 candidates.
Starting with candidate No. 38, hire the person better than the best-so-far candidate.
“That’s now your benchmark person — the next time you find someone you like as much or more, you should hire them,” Ury said.
“If you’ve already dated a lot of people, think about who your benchmark person is. The next time you find someone who you like as much or more, commit to them and don’t keep worrying about who else is out there,” she added.
Utilizing the mathematical theory is one way to help figure out if you should schedule another date or kick them off your roster.
While the wide array of dating apps would seem to help the lovelorn find their one and only, the endless possibilities appear to make it more difficult for young adults to settle down.
Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, a sociologist, intimacy speaker and author, told The Post last year that the convenience of dating apps and the plethora of choices have led people to see one another as disposable, making dating more superficial.
Dating apps have made finding a match easier, but keeping one less likely.
“That mentality around dating can make it harder to do the hard work of working on a relationship,” Gunsaullus said.