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NY Post
New York Post
1 Jun 2023


NextImg:I’m a parenting expert — here’s how to get kids to open up about school 

It’s a tale as old as time – you ask your children what they learned at school that day, and they reply, “Nothing.”

But there might be a way to fix that, as a UK parenting expert is sharing tips to get some information out of your kids after they come home from a long day of classes.

Mom of two Kirsty Ketley revealed a list of 10 simple questions to ask in a video shared on Instagram this month.

“Does your child always tell you that they cannot remember what they did at school today or they just simply go ‘I don’t know’?” she asks in the beginning of the clip.

“Frustrating, isn’t it? So, here are 10 things to ask them instead of ‘how was your day’ which are guaranteed to ensure that you can extract some information out of them.”

Ketley’s list included asking your child specifics, such as who they sat next to at lunch time, or what made them laugh that day.

Parenting expert Kirsty Ketley revealed some questions you can ask kids to get them to open up to you after school.
Jam Press Vid/Kirsty Ketley

Ketley herself is a mom of two.

Ketley is a mom of two.
Jam Press/Kirsty Ketley

The 10 questions are:

“You don’t need to ask all 10 questions — just a couple, as often, that is enough for a child to open up,” Ketley told The Post in an email.

“It’s also not necessary to find out absolutely everything about your child’s day, so if they seem happy, don’t worry too much — as hard as it may be.”

Ketley explained that her nearly 25 years of working with children has taught her how to “extract info” from them.

“Kids are often tired and hungry when they first come out of school, so I always recommend leaving it an hour after school to ask any questions, to allow kids to decompress and chill,” Ketley told NeedToKnow.co.uk.

Ketley and her child

She has been working with children for 25 years.
Jam Press/Kirsty Ketley

Ketley and her kids

“Meal times can be a good time to find out things, if not bath time, and kids always love a good chat at bedtime!” she told Jam Press.
Jam Press/Kirsty Ketley

She admitted that even as an adult, she wouldn’t want to be asked a ton of questions about her day as soon as she walked through the door. She urged parents to let kids tell them about their days on their own time.

“If they’ve got exciting news to share, they will soon tell you, or if anything really bad has happened,” she told the outlet.

“Also, their teacher will be in contact if there’s anything too worrying.”

Kirsty Ketley

She explained that one of the questions you can ask is, “Who did you help today?”
Jam Press/Kirsty Ketley

Ketley is a parenting expert.

Ketley is a parenting expert.
Jam Press/Kirsty Ketley

Ketley added meal and bath times can be good times to find out and that “kids always love a good chat at bedtime.”

In another April video, Ketley advised parents to stop telling their kids “no” and use other methods of communication instead, like giving them instructions and offering them choices.

She said to save using the word “no” for dangerous situations.

“Of course, a firm sharp ‘no’ is a must if your child is in danger — if they’re going to touch the hot tub or they’re going to run out into the busy road, of course, you can say ‘no,’ ” Ketley said.

“It will, however, be more likely listened to if you have rephrased the word ‘no’ at other times.”