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NY Post
New York Post
11 Sep 2023


NextImg:I’m a love pro — here are my top tips on finding your forever person

She’s sharing the how-to on snagging your ideal boo.

Landing the lover of your dreams can sometimes feel like a nightmarish challenge. Hopeless romantics hoping to hook a long-term honey often find themselves gloomily trudging through the ransacked dating world, which is plagued by never-do-wells guilty of lying, cheating and even designer shoe theft.    

But an expert in the area of amour is now offering up a series of hot hints on how wannabe wives and hubbies can score a storybook soulmate — and avoid being taken for a ride. 

“I’m a therapist and these are my five best dating tips if you’re dating with the intention of finding your person and settling down into a serious relationship,” announced London-based specialist Annie Zimmerman, known virtually as @Your_Pocket_Therapist, to her more than 343,000 TikTok followers. 

In her viral post with nearly 28,000 views, Zimmerman rattled off a quick list of dating do’s and don’t’s — such as “do” acquire the characteristics of your perfect partner and “don’t” fall for a roller coaster romance — aimed at redirecting lost lovers towards their happy ending. 

Here is Zimmerman’s blueprint for catching a keeper. 

“Embody the person you’re trying to attract,” advised the authority, ranking the top as her “number one” rule of romance. “If you want someone who’s emotionally available and a good communicator, lead by example and communication and be available to them,” she said. 

“Don’t try to force things,” urged Zimmerman. “Listen to your gut and be prepared to say ‘No’ quickly if things don’t feel right.”

Online, Zimmerman’s TikTok viewers thanked her for the helpful tips she shared in the trending clip.
Getty Images

“Watch out for that intense chemistry that makes your head spin and feel like you’re on a roller coaster because things are so up and down,” she recommended, suggesting that a whirlwind love could actually send some folks spiraling. “This might actually be a red flag that this isn’t going to be the stable love that you’re looking for.”

Zimmerman cautioned viewers against picking a partner who’s not up to par, saying, “Don’t date ‘projects’ and don’t date someone’s potential.”

“If you don’t like how someone is right now, and you’re in a relationship hoping that one day they’ll change,” she continued, “chances are you’re going to be disappointed and it will lead to heartbreak longer down the line.”

“Only put energy into things that feel reciprocal and equal,” encouraged  Zimmerman. “You cannot feel safe and secure with someone who is uncertain about you, who is in situationship or who is blowing hot and cold.” The counselor added, “Know your worth and move on.”

couple dancing together
Zimmerman’s recipe for love includes embodying choice traits, standing up for yourself, keeping an eye out for red flags, being mindful of your partner’s shortcomings and prioritizing your own needs.
Getty Images

And grateful online audiences applauded her guidance.  

“I needed this thank you so much,” fawned a fan. 

“I wish I’d seen this a year ago,” confessed another commenter. “But I’m better and wiser for the heartbreak I went through.”

“This is why I’m still single today,” another chimed. “Had plenty of opportunities but all of them were tips 2, 3, 4, and/or 5. Working on being tip 1. Frustrating.”

And it’s true — embodying the traits of the person your perfect mate can be difficult. 

In fact, Manhattan-based dating coach Amy Nobile, who charges upwards of $10,000 for her specialized sweetheart services, told The Post that she often challenges clients to look inward in order to reel in the lasting love they desire. 

“You’re teaching yourself about your own needs, requirements, the things that bring you joy,” she said. “When you’re loving yourself, you become a magnet that attracts love from others.”