Karla Elia was engaged to the love of her life in just six months.
Now, she wants to help other eligible bachelorettes find their perfect matches, too.
The 24-year-old internet sensation, who boasts one million followers on TikTok, advises all the single ladies to talk about one crucial thing on their first dates: Their goals — but never their past.
“Don’t talk about your past — talk about your dreams,” the San Diego relationship coach said in a YouTube video for the women empowerment platform Shera.
“Talk about what you want to do for yourself in your life.”
On her first few dates with her husband Dustyn — whom she met on Bumble and later married in May 2022 — the pair walked about their dreams for the future, what kind of lives and family they wanted, where they wanted to live and more.
“I knew that the next man that I was going to date was going to be the one for me,” revealed Elia, who got engaged six months her first date with her now-husband.
“For a lot of people, it sounds very dramatic, very rushed – but I knew exactly what I was looking for.”
Knowing what you’re looking for in a relationship is key, said Elia, who said she and Dustyn were at the same place in life when they first met.
“He was meeting my frequency [and] he was meeting my energy,” she said.
Elia encourages singletons to know the types of people they are most compatible with.
“You need to know your non-negotiables,” she added. “You need to know your personality types and what you are attracted to.”
The content creator has coined a “list of threes” approach to dating, which includes a list of non-negotiables, personality traits your dream partner would have and three physical attributes they should have.
“These are all things that you need that are essentials for you to be able to find this man attractive,” she explained.
“That is why I created this list of threes – it is very reasonable and not unattainable.”
The list of threes, she continued, acts as a “guide” to steer romantics to the man of their dreams.
“When you step into reality, you realize that there are good men out there, but the reason why you can’t find them is because you don’t know what you want,” she said.
“The list of threes are your standards, and when you go out to dates, when you meet different men, you won’t be swayed to give someone your time if they’re not meeting your expectations.”
While people often choose feelings over “standards,” referencing the list of threes can weed out the men who aren’t a good fit.
“It becomes so easy and so instinctual for you because you recognize your list that you will not waste your time anymore,” she said.
For her, glaring red flags include men who are “sweet talkers,” those who always talk about their past or who try to snoop through your phone.
Elia also has three “green flags” she looks for in a partner: that he’s a “man of his word,” “is generous” and is “on time.”
“I know that a lot of people think that this is like a given, but when a man is on time and he respects other people’s time, that is super sexy because that means that he’s going to respect your time as well,” she explained.