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8 Jul 2023

NextImg:I was cut as a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding after spending thousands — so I’m going on vacation instead

Reddit users rallied to support a woman who claims she was booted from her brother’s wedding after she spent thousands of dollars as a bridesmaid. 

User “trashgirlfriend” posted in Reddit’s “Am I the A—hole” (AITA) subreddit on July 4, asking others, “WIBTA if I go on vacation instead of my brother’s wedding?” 

“WIBTA” stands for “Would I be the a–hole” and is used when a person has not yet committed the action that might deem them an “a–hole.” 

In the post, the Redditor explained that she’s a 26-year-old woman with a 36-year-old brother, “Tom,” who is getting married to a woman named “Sarah.”

While “Tom” and his sister were apparently not very close due to their age differences, the bride-to-be asked her future sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid in the upcoming wedding, to be held in September.

“I figured I was only asked as a courtesy since I’m her soon-to-be sister-in-law, but I still took it seriously,” she said. 

The wedding planning process took two years, she said — and she’s been involved the entire time.

“Just a few weeks ago, I managed to save up to buy the $800 bridesmaid dress. Overall, in the last two years between group outings to parties, dinners, lunches, clothes, etc., I spent thousands of dollars,” she wrote in her post. 

“Eventually all the girls in the wedding and I became extremely close, and I started to get hyped for the wedding.” 

A woman on Reddit is planning on skipping her brother's wedding after his fiancée decided to remove her from the bridal party.

A woman on Reddit is planning on skipping her brother’s wedding after his fiancée decided to remove her from the bridal party.

However, the bride-to-be recently changed her mind — and decided she no longer wanted “trashgirlfriend” to be in her wedding party. 

“Sarah recently got close with her brother’s wife Becky (30f),” wrote the Reddit poster. “Last week she dropped the ball on me that she no longer wants me to be a bridesmaid and she would prefer if Becky would take my place.” 

While trashgirlfriend said it broke her heart to be removed from the wedding, she added that “it’s her wedding, and it’s not my place to tell her how to run it, so I said it was fine.” 

But when she then attempted to return the expensive bridesmaid dress, she discovered that Sarah had planned for her to give the dress to the new bridesmaid.

“Sarah was completely appalled and said that Becky was going to wear it since she and I are the same size,” trashgirlfriend wrote.

“I said that would be fine, but they would have to pay me the $800 for it. Sarah said that Becky couldn’t afford and I should just be nice and let her use it — and said that I could keep it after the wedding,” the Redditor wrote.

At that point, trashgirlfriend she said refused to hand over the dress — and “after some bickering back and forth I just ended up taking it and leaving.” 

She wrote, “My brother and Sarah tried to compromise with me, and say I could be ‘the assistant flower girl’ and I felt offended at the offer. After I said no, they then said that Becky could give me $250” for the dress. 

The decision came after the woman spent thousands of dollars on being a bridesmaid.

The decision came after the woman spent thousands of dollars on being a bridesmaid.

Trashgirlfriend said she was able to return the dress for a full refund — and then told her brother and his wife-to-be that she would not be attending their wedding, as they had been “extremely disrespectful” to her.

“Today my coworker says she has an extra round-trip plane ticket to go to Miami that she’ll sell to me for half price, plus I would have to pay for half the hotel and I can go hang out with her in Florida,” she wrote. “The only downside is that I’ll be in Florida for the week of my brother’s wedding.”

“So, will I be the a–hole if I just go party in Miami instead of going to my brother’s wedding?” 

​On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is “NTA” (“Not the A–hole”), “YTA” (“You’re the A–hole”), “NAH” (“No A–holes Here”) or “ESH” (“Everyone Sucks Here”).

In the nearly 5,000 responses to the post before it was locked to further replies, nearly everyone sided with trashgirlfriend as “NTA.” 

“A 26-year-old assistant flower girl? Really? How insulting,” wrote Reddit user “Prudent_Plan_6451” in one of the top comments. 

“OP, one of the nice things about declining an invitation is that you need not give a gift. A card of congratulations is all etiquette requires. And I think you’ve already overspent (both literally and emotionally) on this wedding,” wrote Prudent_Plan_6451.

“NTA, They disrespected you so you don’t have to be there if you don’t want to. They literally removed you as a bridesmaid after they had you spend so much money,” said “vidadeleeda.” 

“I’m proud of you for returning the dress instead of letting them walk all over you and take it for free,” the user added. 

“NTA. They treated you with such disrespect that even if you didn’t have a better offer, not going to the wedding is still the right choice,” said Redditor “CrystalQueen3000.” 

In an updated post, trashgirlfriend said that even her mother was supportive of her decision to skip her brother’s wedding in lieu of a vacation. 

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“So unfortunately since Reddit is awful at keeping secrets, Becky saw the post on TikTok, so she obviously let the cat out of the bag,” wrote trashgirlfriend in a July 6 post on AITA.

“I used fake names, but I guess me talking about an $800 dress and getting booted from a wedding was oddly specific,” she wrote.

Although she said her “whole family is split” on what should be done, “after a heated argument it was mutually agreed that I will not be attending the wedding.” 

“My brother and [future sister-in-law] cannot seem to comprehend that this is not about the dress but how they treated me,” she wrote.

Trashgirlfriend said her mother — her only living parent — paid for her hotel stay in Miami.

“I think it’s safe to assume whose side she’s low-key on,” she wrote.

“I will have an amazing time in Miami and won’t feel the slightest bit guilty thanks to the overwhelmingly positive response I got on here.” 

Fox News Digital reached out to trashgirlfriend for additional comment.