You don’t often hear about the fine line parents walk when their kids are no longer little.

There’s suddenly the freedom of not needing a sitter each time you go out, and equally as important, someone who can physically take the bin out for you on bin night.

But then, you still need to behave yourself and act like a parent and role model – which can make you feel unsure about your decisions.

This is a dilemma one mom is facing this week – and it’s specifically about some R18+ photos – of herself.

Using the account ‘notgoingononlyfansyet’, the mom posted on Mumsnet:

“I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be.”

Aww, we love that for her. But then the post continues:

“I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, Brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls).”

The mom’s concern is her daughter – whose age isn’t revealed, but who’s obviously old enough to understand that the photos are intimate.

“The pics are overtly sensual. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? 

“I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door.

“We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age.

“Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait?”

The comments section proved the mom was right to ask for advice, with many calling the situation “cringey” and one saying it was “weird and off.”

“Honestly if you need a chat about it, or to warn her friends not to take a photo of it, I wouldn’t display it. Keep them for yourself, I am glad it gave you a confidence boost though!” was one of the more diplomatic responses.

Another shared this way to think about it: “I guess what you need to ask yourself is how you would feel if one of the children went home to their parents and told them they’d seen a picture of you in your bra and pants?

“Or how you would feel if your child came home saying they had seen it in another house? I would be extremely uncomfortable with either of those scenarios that so on that basis it would be a no from me.”

This mom was much more direct: “You risk teaching your DD a pretty f**ked-up message if you try to make her keep a secret about something you have chosen to display in your house on a wall that is visible from outside the room.

“Hang it on the back of your bedroom door.”

Many parents were concerned about the burden on the daughter, with this one writing, “I don’t think it’s appropriate to put up a sexy photo which her friends could see, nor is it appropriate to put the responsibility of her friends not taking photos of it on her.”

Finally, one group member told the mom she was sending mixed messages:

“Here is something that Mommy is very proud of. However, you must absolutely keep it a secret from Grandma. Even though Mommy is very proud.

“Yes, that’s quite confusing. No, you mustn’t keep any secrets for any other grown-ups, only Mommy.”

She added, “Display the photo if you want but you need to decide if it’s private or not. Don’t ask your child to keep secrets about something you visibly display in your house.”