We’ve all been there – those awkward moments when a child arrives at a birthday party without an invitation.
The invited child is often dropped off with their sibling as a ‘plus one’ and the parent just assumes it’s okay without asking the host.
Well, that’s exactly what happened recently at a 10-year-old’s party – and the birthday girl’s mom was not having a bar of it.
She took to a popular forum to explain what went down…
“I am a mother-of-three and as with most parents I’m sure, you’ve attended many birthday parties and had the misfortune of seeing that one parent who always drops their kids off and leaves without considering that not all the children were invited,” she begins.
“Sometimes more than one parent does this and honestly, I think it’s selfish. If it had been prearranged with the hosting family then sure all is well but oftentimes it’s not. Who would say no to a child? After all its not their fault.”
The poster then explains that her parenting circle at school all know of her distaste for this behavior. “It’s an overall miserable situation for the sibling with no friend and usually out of their age group and the hosting parent is left to try to include and budget for the kid.”
She says if it was an “emergency” then at least it would come with an explanation – something she would be “understanding of.” But she takes particular issue with parents who have no regard for arrangements.
The mom’s pet peeve took a personal turn when it came to her own daughter’s 10th birthday party.
The “small” and “private” event was hosted at a craft shop where each child received a pre-chosen crafting pack to work on during the event. The party was a pre-paid, pay-per-child event, so any extra children would be unpaid for and would not have their own crafting kit.
This arrangement was “heavily emphasized” to parents on the invite and no one spoke up about any issues with it at the time.
“Inevitably on the day, parent A wants to drop off child A who was invited as well as child B who was not,” the mom recalled.
“Excuses of but they can share a craft pack and it’s not fair to child B were stated aggressively. When asked why child B couldn’t stay with parent A I was not given a reason other than child B was upset they couldn’t go.”
The poster stuck to her guns and firmly told the parent that child B could not come. Then, child B threw “the biggest tantrum” and their parent made no move to calm them but instead, blamed the mom for not letting them in.
She then says that if it had been an at-home event she may not have made the fuss, but as it was a pay-per-child event, “it wasn’t fair to child A and B to make them share a craft pack.”
Parent A ended up leaving with both children, which made the OP mad as she had already paid for child A’s attendance.
Other kids’ parents told the mom she should have just let child B in, because “as stated above, who says no to a child?”
The OP concluded: “But I feel teaching my children the value of your word and sticking to it is more important than sparing the feelings of a child and parent who should know better.”
Most parents agreed that the OP was in the right, with one saying, “NTA, you aren’t a child daycare.”
“OF COURSE NTA,” someone else said. “Inviting someone’s child to a party isn’t volunteering to babysit their whole family, what?”
And a third wrote: “They should have spoken to you first, instead of dropping a random kid on you like that. The fact they didn’t ask you, means they know they were in the wrong.”
But there were at least two people who thought the OP was being too harsh. One said: “You could have let them share the craft kit which they’re probably used to but you had to put your foot down and now neither child could attend.”
And the second wrote: “The only person really affected by the extra kid staying was the invited kid and they didn’t object to sharing. You should research the difference between ethics and morals.”