A mother’s decision to leave her $3 million home to her son has sparked outrage within the family and on the internet — leaving her worried she’s making a huge mistake.
The bewildered woman, who declined to reveal her identity or location, revealed her domestic dilemma in a popular Reddit group called “Am I The A—hole,” where users share their ethical quandaries and ask for feedback.
“Am I the a—hole for leaving only the house to one child?” the miffed mom queried, before diving into the complex specifics.
“Our house has been in the family for generations,” she explained. “It’s on an estate with a few hundred acres of land and the building itself is mostly original, a couple of hundred years old. It admittedly does have its quirks and the size makes management a little difficult but it’s a wonderful home. Its most recent appraisal was a bit over 3 million dollars.”
The woman went on to state that her two adult sons both own their own homes and are “for the most part financially stable.”
The older son, who is married without children, lives nearby, she said. The younger son, who is married with two children, lives a five-hour drive away.
The woman and her husband initially planned to split the house and all of their liquid assets evenly so that the home could be a “meeting place’ for both of their boys.
However, during a recent conversation, the younger son admitted he had no plans to move back to the area with his wife and young children in tow, leaving the mom feeling “disappointed.”
She and her spouse subsequently decided to alter their will, leaving their older son the $3 million home and giving the younger son all of their liquid assets — which total around $2 million.
But there was a catch.
“The house cannot be sold by us or either son,” the mom wrote as a disclaimer at the end of her post. “A long time ago, previous owners made a deal with the town to pay less in property taxes in exchange for the surrounding acreage being public trails. It also has a provision that the house cannot be sold publicly. If we no longer wanted the property, the town will buy it for its land value.”
She did not disclose what the town would pay for the property, and whether it would be equivalent to the $2 million in liquid assets she was now leaving her younger son.
The oldest son was “upset to say the least” and acting like “a brat,” the mother said.
The aggrieved offspring even began making vague threats about abandoning her and her husband when they get older, she said, thanks to their decision to give him the home he couldn’t publicly sell, while his baby brother was granted the entirety of their parents’ cash and investments.
“My younger is pleased with the outcome, but my older is not,” the mom wrote. “He later said he now knows we favor his brother and will keep that in mind when elder care comes up and he’s the one nearby. This seems like a low blow, but I don’t know if it’s deserved.”
The woman’s story elicited more than 2,000 responses, with a majority of users saying she had been unfair to her oldest son by leaving him the house.
“YTA [You’re the a—hole] for sticking either of your kids with a property that they don’t want,” one declared. “I know the house is important to YOU, but neither of your kids want it. You will be better off arranging a sale to someone who will love it and treasure it going forward. Otherwise, leave it to both the kids, and they will arrange the sale when you are gone.”
“Obviously you do favor the younger son. Neither wants it, so you are giving the albatross to the less favored son and two million to your baby,” another concurred. “You are a double a–hole for lying to people here to make yourself look better. If you cannot sell the house, it is not worth 3 million. Don’t make up a fictitious number to make it look how it’s not a terrible deal for your older son.”
Others advised the woman to alter her will again to make everything even with her sons — and to stop making important decisions like that based on her feelings.
“Neither of your sons want this house,. Split all of your assets equally between them and… they can sell the land back to the town,” the Reddit user implored. “I spent 20 years in financial planning and have seen this nonsense many times. Just stop.”