She’s making a name for herself now — with his.
A woman married to her husband for over 25 years refuses to give him back his last name as he prepares to marry again.
Taking her tale to Reddit, the 56-year-old woman said that the two “mutually agreed to part ways” two years ago after her husband came out as a gay man — 26 years and two kids later.
More recently, “he got engaged to a wonderful guy” and the ex-wife has been “supportive of their relationship,” the Reddit user wrote, who retained her ex-partner’s surname on legal records.
“But during my grandson’s birthday party, my ex suddenly asked if I’d consider dropping his last name,” the woman added.
“His fiancé chimed in, saying it makes him uncomfortable that I still use it.”
She managed to deflect the inquiry by joking about having to go through so many branches of government to properly change her name all around, but nobody bought it.
“My ex didn’t laugh. He insisted it’s about starting a new chapter and wants me to ‘move on,” the woman posted, noting that it was a non-issue for the two years.
“I countered that our kids still use the same name, and it would feel strange for me to be the odd one out.”
She also wrote that the “fiancé feels threatened by my name” according to her youngest son, despite the woman making it clear she has “zero interest in rekindling anything.”
The ex also said his fiance sees her keeping the name as a “power play.”
“I told my ex that I’ll consider it later — maybe after they’re married and settled. But now, he’s furious, saying I’m being petty and selfish.”
While her kids are split on the issue, the woman’s friends are urging she should double down and hold serve on keeping the name.
“I don’t see why a name on some legal documents is such a big deal, but they’re making me feel like the villain.”
But online, the woman was fiercely defended as some could relate, at least to a degree, to her situation.
“I had my ex’s name for 22 years and changing it is horrible,” one commented. “I have so much stuff in that name, but as you stated it’s your children’s name and you will always be their mother. If the fiancé has an issue it is too bad.”
Others emphasized that the name change has larger implications beyond their former relationship.
“It’s not just his name, it’s the kids’ name too. It’s your family’s name. That should honestly be a red flag about the fiance, that he wants to change that,” another wrote.
Meanwhile, a third pointed out an easy alternative.
“He should take fiancé’s name if there’s such insecurity about the claim of the man … it’s ridiculous to ask this.”