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Humans are social creatures. Which is why, not so long ago, socializing was something that people did naturally without giving it a second thought.
In the era of the smartphone, however, many people need to make a conscious effort to socialize — and you might even need a therapist to “prescribe” it to you.
Dr. Kathryn Smerling, a psychotherapist and the author of “Learning to Play Again: Rediscovering Our Early Selves to Become Better Adults,” often finds herself doing just that.
“Prescription of socialization is always an integral part of any therapy session,” she told the Post. “I do prescribe socialization very often.”
Since “therapy in its nature is a collaborative process,” how she goes about doing that varies and depends on the needs of the patient.
“If I sense that a person’s pain is associated with loneliness, we will go through an exercise in which we actively explore practical ways to make their life more satisfying,” she said. “This always starts with building relationships. I encourage them to start small and make little changes.”
She might, for example, encourage one of her patients to take their dog to the park where they can strike up a conversation with minimal pressure. Or she’ll suggest they join a group based on one of their hobbies or a skill they’ve always wanted to learn.
There are no rigid mandates; rather, she works with individuals to develop practical strategies for increasing their social interactions.
“We don’t necessarily set specific goals, but we leave each session with a ‘game plan’ to see how things go until our next session,” she said.
It’s a process of experimentation, analyzation, and elimination.
“One of the things you always do as a therapist is you do constant check-ins so that you build a cache of feedback — and if certain things don’t work, you eliminate them and make a change,” Smerling explained.
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And if you’re wondering which generation seems to have the lowest levels of social fitness, you might not be altogether surprised to know that it seems to be Generation Z — those born between 1997 and 2012, when the internet was in full swing.
“It’s more often the younger generations who have grown up with the internet and social media and can’t seem to put down a phone or iPad,” she said.
“These children who haven’t known a world without this technology developed differently and they are different.”
Indeed, research suggests Generation Z is significantly lonelier than other generations, with 80% of this cohort saying they’ve experienced feelings of loneliness over the past year, 20% reporting they “often” feel lonely, and 15% confessing they “regularly” feel lonely.
Experts believe the superficial connections of social media and smartphones versus interacting IRL are to blame.
“Real, live conversation is how we best build the positive relationships needed for our emotional wellbeing and overall health, and that feeds our souls,” Smerling said.
One of the other significant disruptions to this generation’s social development was the Covid-19 pandemic, which forced many young people into isolation and intensified their reliance on online communication.
“Their attention spans have been impacted and how they connect with others is often online,” she said. “And this is because it’s often easier and less challenging.”
Research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science found that engaging in meaningful face-to-face interactions versus messaging and texting is associated with lower loneliness levels and a better sense of overall well=being.
Smerling has previously spoken to the Post about the importance of social fitness — the practice of maintaining and nurturing your social connections.
“This does not have to be complicated,” she said. “And just like a muscle, the more you ‘work out’ your social fitness, the easier it becomes.”