A single woman has revealed she doesn’t tell men she’s transgender straight away as people are “too judgmental” – saying she likes to wait until she’s sure she wants to take things further.
Adea Danielle, 22, always felt like there was something “missing” when she was growing up and at aged 16, after stumbling across a YouTube video, realized she was transgender.
After realizing she was the “wrong body”, Adea told her mom and soon after began her journey to becoming a woman, including embarking on hormone therapy before undergoing gender-affirming surgery in 2021.
Despite finally being comfortable in her body, the Canadian influencer – who has over 138,000 followers on Instagram – says she often chooses not to disclose the fact she’s transgender to men, which is often met with backlash.
“[People tell me] I’m lying to them or that I’m deceiving them,” she said.
“There’s so much judgment around the trans label and if a guy were to learn that I’m trans before, he would make up a whole idea of how I am and how I must act.
“I want him to get to know me – so I just tell them when I’m interested and when I want to take things further.”
Adea explained it’s common when dating not to disclose your full past until the relationship has developed.
“It’s my past and you’re not going to meet someone and tell them everything that happened in your past,” she said.
“[Online] guys often comment ‘Oh you’re lying to men’ but then how can they say I’m lying if I present myself as a woman?
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“They’re basically saying I’m a man.”
Growing up, Adea recalls dressing in her mum’s clothes and wanting to play with her sister’s toys and believes her family knew she was “different.”
While her mum was very accepting, her dad wasn’t on board at first – but she said now, he’s her biggest supporter.
Adea also believes not much is known about transgender people outside of the community, saying it’s often thought that people “wake up” and decide their gender – when in fact, it’s not a choice.
Previously, Adea hit the headlines after revealing the complications she suffered after undergoing Brazilian butt lift (BBL) surgery.
She claims that the pain left her feeling like she was being “burned alive”.
Adea has also undergone gender-affirming surgery, which while she said she’s glad it was a success, stressed it wasn’t easy.
“On the first night, they had to put gauze in between my stitches, and the next day, they couldn’t take them out as I had bled out,” she said of the painful surgery.
“I had blood clots where I couldn’t pee anymore and so they had to leave it in.
“It was so intense.”
She also had an issue with the function of her new vagina, which has since been corrected, but it caused her to struggle emotionally.
“It was a really difficult time for me because I went from having something in between my legs that I hated to this,” she said.
“I would never touch it and disconnected with that area [of my body].”
Adea feels it is important to share her story and has garnered immense support online.
“When I started transitioning, one of my biggest fears was the judgment that I would get walking into the community,” she revealed.
“I don’t know why there’s such a big stigma that when you transition, you have to do this or get that.”
Adea claims that after coming out as transgender, she lost over 50,000 followers on social media – and while this hurt at first, she’s now focusing on her future and happiness.
“You can’t care about what anyone else has to say and just shut everyone out,” she said.
“Concentrate on yourself and focus on where you were in the past [compared to now] and not where others are.”