Another day, another man thinks he’s doing his wife a favor by looking after his own offspring.
But this time, the dad takes it a step further and says that it’s more than just a favor- it’s a gift.
A Mother’s Day gift ever.
Taking to a popular parenting forum, the dad asked: “Am I The A–hole for not getting my wife anything on Mother’s Day?”
The post quickly caused quite a stir, racking up nearly 6000 upvotes and 5000 comments.
“I did not buy or get anything for my wife on Mother’s Day and let me explain why,” the poster begins.
He explains, “My wife and her friend planned a trip to the beach for four days which fell on Mother’s Day.
“So I thought to myself that since I’m watching the kids while she’s gone that would count as a gift since she wouldn’t be here to celebrate that day and would get home that night on Mother’s Day. She gets home and realizes that I didn’t do anything for her and later tells me that she is upset and that the message was received loud and clear.”
The man says that he tried to explain his reasoning to his wife, hoping she’d understand his thought process but she didn’t agree.
“I consider it a gift because we usually split 50/50 with kids and house duties,” the dad concluded.
Most people took to the comments to point out the obvious to the dad: that looking after your kids is not “babysitting” and it’s definitely not a “gift.”
The top comment reads: “Taking care of the kids should be part of your regular duties, not a present/gift.”
Another echoed, “Parenting your own kids isn’t a present, it’s your job and duty as a parent.”
Then this person added, “I rolled my eyes at the ‘watching the kids is a gift’ part. Are you implying that you’d have made your wife take the kids with her had it not been Mother’s Day? If yes, YTA. If no, then YTA for making yourself feel good about an empty gift.”
“Was it too difficult to go buy some flowers? Or even a card? Did you even wish her a happy Mother’s Day? At least by text? How many times does SHE watch the kids while you do whatever you want? Being a husband and a father are choices that you made. Those choices imply responsibilities, such as watching your kids, helping out in the house, etc, AND showing that you care about your partner!” said a different user.
Lots of commenters also noted that the OP didn’t help his kids make or buy something for their mum.
This person wrote, “Your wife likely meant ‘Why didn’t you help the kids make me something?”, not you, yourself doing it…”
Another added, “She’s not your mother, but it’s up to you to act as a supervisor to ensure your kids make cards and give something.”
And a third said, “Your kids are likely too small to get her a gift. They need your help to show their mother they love her. Instead, you decided that you parenting your own kids was a ‘gift’ and that she didn’t deserve any recognition of the day from her kids. Bad decision.”
But a few people agreed with the dad, saying that they also believe looking after the kids was a nice gesture.
“Unpopular opinion – but NTA,” one person wrote.
“As a mum of three little ones under five, handling kids on your own while the other parent is on a trip is a sort of gift of its own.
“My partner and I parent 50/50 so if one person gets to go on a trip to the beach, the other has to deal with the kiddos. Therefore it is so much more tiring being alone with the kids than watching the kids together.
“So on the rare occasions where one of us gets a weekend to ourselves, we are so so grateful for our partner – so much so that yes – I would consider that ‘parenting’ alone a gift because the other gets a break.
“That being said, if your wife’s love language is gifts and knowing that you didn’t buy her any flowers, I can get why she would be mad.”
And a second person backed this up by saying, “You’re not the a–hole. 1) She’s not your mother and 2) She chose to be away from her family and instead go away with her friend.
“I agree with everyone that taking care of your children is your job as a parent. But agreeing with taking care of them alone for four days while your wife is away with a friend seems like a small gift to me actually.”