Dream on and sleep sound star seeds.
An Irish proverb maintains, “A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.”
Indeed, sleep, what Shakespeare called nature’s necessity is among the cheapest and most effective remedies for all manner of ails and yet it eludes us en masse. Nearly half of Americans experience some degree of sleep deprivation and our reliance on technology and steady diet of screens only adds to the yawning (get it?) gap between what we need and what we receive.
Dr. Karan Rajan, a surgeon with the UK’s National Health Service recently outlined a fistful of reasons why our sleep might be suffering, including but not limited to boozing, caffeine consumption and a bed that’s too warm.
Health professionals agree that a left facing fetal position is ideal for optimum rest as the repose pose reduces pressure on the back and ensures gastric juices remain lower than the esophagus, thereby aiding digestion and mitigating heartburn.
As with most things, believing is half the battle and recent research suggests thinking you have experienced a good night’s sleep is more important than actually getting one. Additional research shows that night owls are spirited to the grave faster than early birds.
Just as our zodiac signs influence how we move through the world so too do they effect how we slip into the land of nod. Read on to learn more about how to get the best rest for your zodiac sign.
Aries is rules by Mars, jock planet of drive and desire and the domain of sex, sports and competitive edge. For an Aries to sleep soundly they must feel like they have ‘won,’ whether that win was an orgasm, a street race or a max out bench press.
When it comes to this cardinal fire sign, the soundest sleep is proceeded by exhaustion and exaltation. For best results, exercise early in the day and begin the long, slow process of deacceleration before nightfall and alongside a generous dose of CBD.
Taurus is ruled by Venus, the decadent planet of earthly delights that lives and loves by the principle of pleasure. As such, sleep strategies for bulls should employ a multi sensory approach.
Fresh flowers by the bedside, clean sheets on the mattress, fancy AF jammies on the body, soft light and easy listening. Taureans are built for sleep but eating late in the evening or napping in the afternoon can rob them of rest. Thus, a caloric cut off and an early bed time are helpful in supporting shuteye.
Gemini wishes to always be engaged in some sort of dialogue, be it a debate with another person, a volleying exchange with themselves or a controversial Reddit thread.
Deeply curious and terminally restless they are guilty of excessive screen use and falling through late night rabbit holes. People of the twin can combat this sleep thief by powering down before bed, keeping their devices in a separate room and investing in an old school alarm clock.
Cancers are ruled by the moon and especially sensitive to its phases which can directly affect their sleep quality. Prone to worry and wistfulness they tend to stay up late counting their disappointments, stalking the social media of an ex friend, lover or business associate and imagining scenarios in which the people they love are in peril.
To combat these tendencies, Cancers do well with a sleep ritual that includes a pre-rest rinse and smoke cleansing to chase the BO and the baddies away.
Leo by choice and often times by expectation is the life of the party and the orchestrator of connection and as such can suffer from social jet lag which depletes sleep quantity and quality. Richly invested in romance Leos spend a lot of time thinking about past, present or potential partners, getting their heart rates up and keeping their REM sleep at a minimum.
The anecdote to all of this may be a bedside gratitude journal that provides a creative and curative outlet for them and servers to remind that they have, and are, enough.
Virgo is ruled by fast moving Mercury, planet of communication, short distance travel and fine tuned details. Ever imagining ways to improve themselves and their environments Virgos often sacrifice sleep to anxiety; making lists, recalling in agonizing detail a social misstep they made, thinking about what non-toxic solution to apply to their mouth ulcers etc. Because they are often in the mind, Virgos benefit greatly from sleep hypnosis and herbal remedies for rest like Passion Flower and Magnolia Bark.
Libra is oft preoccupied by the opinions of others and plagued by an acute sensitivity to their aesthetic surroundings. Staying up late to text their side piece, shop for mid century furniture and vintage door pulls, and party plan can result in a lack of sleep and sacrificed productivity. A silk sleep mask and a white noise machine help to quiet their minds and ease their eyes.
Scorpio tends to steal sleep from themselves by staying up late watching true crime television and imagining the strategies of their enemies. The cure for this ilk is a stable security system, black out curtains and a protection spell recited before bed.
Scorpios are prone to obsess, a pattern that robs them of rest as was the case for scorpion billionaire Bill Gates who admits to thinking sleep was lazy when he was in the obsessive and punishing process of building his geek empire.
Sagittarius lives with gusto and goes hard from sun up to sun down and often into the following sun up. Hungry for knowledge with a hard on for a rollicking debate and a terminal case of FOMO they often eschew sleep to converse, flirt and otherwise chase the midnight oil of experience.
They sleep best in scenarios where movement is present IE in a train car, horse drawn carriage, against the lapping tides of the sea on a sailboat or in the backseat of a west bound car, effects that can be mimicked by a water bed and the ambient background sounds of any Steve McQueen film. Archers can often bore themselves to sleep with a calming cup of spiked tea and an hour spent reading books about savings and investment.
Capricorn folk compromise their sleep schedule with the adrenaline surge of unchecked ambition, the stay up late effect of copious caffeine, and a strategic mind that won’t rest until victory is secured, enemies are vanquished and investments are sound.
The Capricorn archetype is concerned with power and control and is eased by S&M role play and the limited mobility provided by a weighted blanket. Combined, an orgasm, a vigorous flogging, Ayn Rand read aloud and a fuzzy blanket wrapped tight conspire to send them to sleep.
Aquarians identify as outsiders and prefer the midnight hours when their loner tendencies and world class weirdness can operate without audience. As the sign synonymous with progress, Aquarians often mistakenly believe themselves beyond the nagging necessity of a solid eight hours of unconscious contemplation.
In order to feel like they’re sleep is in service of, rather than a distraction from, their lofty genius, it is advisable for water bearers to play classical music or subliminal recordings while they slumber.
Pisces folk are prone to falling asleep while avoiding the slings and arrows reality; in the bathtub, in front of the television, in the middle of a guided meditation punctuated by Peruvian flute bands, beside their attractive but unstable ex etc.
While it is easy for them to drift to sleep, the dream world being in all ways preferable to waking life, it is difficult for them to wake up. Fish folk benefit from having a dream journal and decoder near by and a clean space/blank slate from which to disembark to the land of nod.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.