I haven’t had to use the Pythagorean theorem once since learning it in seventh grade. But girl math? I use it every time I pick up my passport. In 2024, I visited 22 countries and I did it by leveraging the self-serving, female-centric arithmetic birthed on TikTok.
Crunch this: So I’m freezing my ass off in Montana, where I pay my mortgage and I’m desperate for a sunny escape. I do some creative number crunching and buy a flight to Costa Rica. Why? Because it’s cheaper there than here, even with the flight. I’ll save, sorta.
Is my approach problematic? Perhaps. But I try to purchase carbon offsets. That’s the beauty of girl math, you can apply it to almost everything. Here’s how I use it to see the world.
Like millions of Americans, Botox is behind my infallible face. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, this non-invasive treatment averages $435. But last month I paid just $256 at Pacific Medical Clinic in Tamarindo.
This beloved Costa Rican beach town is also my favorite place for a girls’ getaway. A dozen of my closest gal pals and I can fly into nearby Liberia (nonstop flights from seven major US cities starting at $360 return), collect a couple cars from Vamos Rent-a-Car (rates from $10-a-day), and buy out the Point Luxury Villa. The Pacific-front property starts at just $4,250 a night and boasts seven ocean-view suites, a putting green, an infinity pool, a heli-pad and private butler service.
A comparable rental in California doesn’t exist. If it did, it would cost at least thrice that. Meanwhile, I pay just $80 for a private surf sesh with Tamarindo’s Iguana Surf. The same one-on-one lesson at San Diego Surf School set me back $140.
I’ve been going to the dentist in the “Land of Smiles” for nearly a decade. I needed a crown and recently at Dental Point Clinic in Chiang Mai — where cleanings cost $15 — and it quoted me $700, a fraction of the $2,500 I was quoted in my hometown of Billings. Mont.
I can use that savings of $1,800 toward airfare to Chiang Mai ($1,000) and a week-long stay at Vanilla Residence, a three-star boutique hotel (rooms from $21 a night).
I’ll even have a few Benjamins left over to spend on food and a Thai massage ($53 for 60 minutes) at the new five-star InterContinental Chiang Mai.
A week’s worth of lift tickets at my local mountain, Big Sky Resort (5,800 skiable acres) costs $1,250.
That’s why for my January ski trip I flew 5,000 miles to Italy ($1,500 return) where a seven-day Dolomiti Superski (29,652 skiable acres) pass costs $540. And don’t get me started on accommodations.
According to Booking.com, Big Sky’s cheapest stay during peak season starts at $4,698 per week. Whereas weekly rates where I stayed in Alta Badia — the Sag Harbor of the Dolomites — start at just $1,150. Another perk of hitting the slopes abroad? You don’t have to tip 25% every time you stop for an Aperol spritz. In fact, you don’t have to tip at all.
Since 2018 I’ve been flying to France to get my hair done by Patrick & Marcel. The Syrian brothers embody the immigrant dream and now own the City of Lights’ most sought-after salons. In addition to lower-middle-class me, their clientele includes everyone from the who’s who of Paris Fashion Week models to the Royal Family of Qatar. Last week, I got their signature smoothing treatment for just $270.
A similar keratin coiffure at the UES’s tony Warren Tricomi salon starts at $800. I used the savings to embrace my inner Eloise a la Madeline at the historic Hotel Montalembert where my balcony had a view of the Eiffel Tower. Rates at the first five-star property on the Left Bank start at $300 — a far cry from the $1,000 you’d have to pay to stay at the Carlyle.
If my fiancé is buying, I won’t say no to Sonoma. But in April, I’m footing the bill.
Sure, I’ll have to cash in 120,000 United miles (which equals free in girl math) for a flight to Cape Town.
But once in Stellenbosch, I’ll be living like the queen I can’t afford to be back home. We’ll stay at the new 80-key luxury hotel (from $300 a night) at Spier Wine Farm — voted one of the world’s best 100 wineries — where tastings start at $4.60 (they average $25 in Sonoma), and you can score 18 organic eggs for less than five bucks. Who knows? Maybe we’ll get hitched there.
According to the Knot, the average US wedding costs $35,000. Business Insider Africa reports it’s just $12,000 in South Africa.