Election Day. To elect tomorrow’s winner quickly can only be if Pat Sajak spins the wheel.

Comes a mishmash that Mrs. Biden could glue a letter onto Joe’s fly to tell him he got re-elected. He won’t know from where it comes but Hunter will recognize the envelope’s stamps.

Biden now calls Mitch McConnell “kid.” In a picture of the Last Supper you’ll see Joe third from the right.

A Moscow voting booth sign: “Check the box for ‘Communist.’ The life you save might be your own.”

America keeps all bars open Election Day. Why? Because nobody can vote for any of these candidates sober.

And each candidate wants to pretty up our jails. Reason being many wind up there.

Schumer: “To err is human. To blame the other guy is antisemitism.”

Newbie: “My campaign needs $10 million.” Chairman: “Won’t cost that much.” Newbie: “Yeah, but if I lose I need to live comfortably.”

Adam bull Schiff. Troubled life as a kid. Forget his faults. His parents only agreed to stay together for the sake of the dog.

Mr. Biden’s attention-craving wife next writes a book describing the rigors of politics. Title? “Women Are From Bloomingdale’s.”

And Kamala’s lumpy dumpy VP choice just made a heroic speech. He said: “The military must pitch in — or we won’t have a pot to pitch in.”

Rumor is that over Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s bed hangs a sign that advertises Group Rates.

I am not anti-Mike Pence. I just think it’s his veins that keep him from being completely colorless.

Bernie Sanders? His memorial services have yet to be announced.

And what’s to say about Kamala that wasn’t already said about hazardous waste?

Note: Millions of nameless migrants have traveled to DC. Just to find warmth in the congressional hot air.

It’s an unconfirmed rumor — but if Kamala’s husband meets Nepal’s former President Bidya Devi Bhandari talk is he could slap her face.

Pete Buttigieg — age 11, with a husband he met on the Internet — was mayor of South Bend with its population of eight and is now on the White House team. Question is, why?

As for great political wisdom Woody Allen says: “A man kills for food. Not just food. Also there has to be a beverage.”

But let us not knock whatever remains of Biden. He never joined Alcoholics Anonymous. Each time he took the 12-step program he fell down every one of them.

But he knows his capacity — though it may be all he knows.

I’m not favoring Biden — I’m just sorry to see him leave. He was once a world-class organist. Then one day a strange thing happened. His monkey died.

I love this country. Pray for it. Vote for it. Protect it. Love it.