It’s 4 a.m. and I’m being gently prodded awake by a very sexy man. Nope, not because he’s horny — although, trust me, we did manage to squeeze in a little action — but because my saucy love interest’s alarm just went off, and I’m being politely, but firmly, booted out.
This was my first real sign of what I was dealing with here in New York City — my very own Mr. Big.
Like the “Sex and the City” character, he’s the perfect blend of power, mystery and a little bit of emotional chaos. He’s the older, successful, and ridiculously attractive businessman who can’t make up his mind about commitment. But one thing’s for sure: he knows how to keep you hooked.
And that, my dear readers, is exactly who I found myself waking up next to after what was, if I do say so myself, a very successful date.
Now, I’m not saying I manifested him … actually, yes, I definitely did. When I stumbled across a viral clip of him recently — giving a passionate, fiery rant on a topic that happens to be something I’m deeply interested in — I knew right then and there I had to meet this man.
In the clip, he was so commanding, so undeniably sexy, I swear I could practically feel the heat through the screen. His words were sharp, assertive — he was on fire, and so was I.
So, naturally, I slid into his DMs. A few flirty messages later, and within a week, I found myself across from him in a swanky bar in Chelsea. Three-piece suit. Perfectly coiffed. The man was on another level.
He picked the bar, took charge from the start — and that, my friends, was my first clue that I was in the presence of a full-on Mr. Big. Here’s what I learned about dating this type of NYC man:
By the end of this whirlwind romance, I had to ask myself: Do I want to be with him? Or do I want to be him?
The way he commanded every conversation, took charge of every situation and exuded boss energy — it was kind of … inspiring. I started to realize that if I wanted to hustle with the big boys, I had to start thinking and acting like one.
Suddenly, I found myself setting my own alarm for 4 a.m. to conquer the day, because, hey, if it works for Mr. Big, it can work for me, right?
And despite having once thought Aidan, the one Carrie Bradshaw ends up with in “And Just Like That,” was the one for me, here I am — shocked to discover it’s actually a Mr. Big I’m looking for. Who knew?
If you’re also on the hunt for your own Mr. Big, I’ve brain-dumped a few key lessons that will help you snag a man like this:
The key to unlocking a Mr. Big? His ego. I quoted something he said on a podcast, and he literally stopped mid-sentence and said, “Wow, here I am with a pretty woman quoting something I said back to me. Gotta love that!” Boom. That’s all it took. Men like him love to be admired for their knowledge, so do a little homework, stroke his ego and watch him melt.
Mr. Big-types love their women to seem submissive (keyword: seem). These men are like cavemen, and they like to provide. Let him sit in his masculine by letting yourself lean into your feminine side. Wear perfume, do your hair and makeup just right, and let him lead the conversation. Trust me, it’s like flipping a switch.
Ask him about his work, his accomplishments, his latest big deal. Mr. Big-types take immense pride in what they achieve. When you show genuine interest in his successes — and, yes, express some admiration — his confidence goes through the roof. And guess what? That makes him even more attracted to you.
Now I get why Carrie spent all those seasons whipped into a tizz over a man like this. Once you’ve experienced a Mr. Big, it’s hard to settle for anything else. So, while you may have thought your ideal man was a sweet, sensitive artist or the charming, steady type, you might just find that what you really crave is a little more Big in your life. And trust me, once you’ve tasted that kind of power, nothing else compares. Damn it.