Hey, I just work here. Take it up with the manager.

Flipping through my weekly stack of notes, they’re yet again loaded with absurdities and unintended but nonetheless institutionalized farce. For starters:

The Thought of the Week was provided by former NBA star Dwyane Wade, who in the cleansed version of a podcast interview — the “F-word” now suffices for sincerity — spoke of 2010s Heat teammate LeBron James’ diminishing relationship with team president Pat Riley, as per James’ flights to away games with The King’s cherished bags of chocolate chip cookies at the ready.

7

Wade claimed that Riley, for some inexplicable reason — James’ physical fitness? — somehow confiscated those cookies or covertly seized those goodies.