Let’s cut to the chase: All six episodes of Good Omens Season 2 are now streaming on Amazon’s Prime Video, and the fans really, really want to know whether Crowley and Aziraphale finally kiss.
You can hardly blame us for being so single-minded. The first season of Good Omens all but confirmed that the angel Aziraphale (played by Michael Sheen) and the demon Crowley (played by David Tennant) were in love. It was a romance, in every sense… except for the kissing. Given that queer love stories are already rare in mainstream media, it’s only natural that audiences feel they are owed a kiss.
In the second season of Good Omens, which began streaming on Amazon Prime today Aziraphale and Crowley are finally fighting on the same side—their own side. They have a new mystery to solve when their former adversary, the head angel of Heaven, Gabriel (John Hamm) shows up in Aziraphale’s bookshop with no clothing and no memory of who he is. Aziraphale insists on helping Gabriel, and hides him. Soon, all the forces of Heaven and Hell are on the hunt for the missing archangel.
But you don’t really care about that, do you? Let’s get to the good stuff.
Warning: Major, major Good Omens Season 2 spoilers ahead.
Seriously, only read the rest of this article if you’ve either already binged the entire season, or if you really want to be spoiled.
Are you sure?
Like, really sure?
OK.
Here goes nothing…
YES! Yes, yes, yes. Yes, Aziraphale and Crowley kiss at the very end of Episode 6 of Good Omens Season 2. Take a moment to let your fangirl screams. You’ve earned it. After 6,000 years of pining, these two immortal idiots finally locked lips. Enjoy this moment. Savor it. Especially because, much like these two immortal idiots, you’re about to have your heart smashed into a million tiny pieces.
Wait, what?
Yes, you read that correctly: Immediately after giving us everything the Good Omens fans have been waiting for, Neil Gaiman and his equally sadistic co-writer John Finnemore promptly takes it all away.
Here’s how it happens: Former head angel Gabriel gets his memories back, and he remembers that he’s in love with (!) Beelzebub, the head demon. Gabriel and Beelzebub abandon Heaven and Hell and run away together. Aww! Everyone can live happily ever—not so fast. The Metatron, aka the Voice of God (who is separate from God, the narrator played by Frances McDormand, yes it’s confusing, but just goes with it) shows up to offer Aziraphale a job. Specifically, he offers Aziraphale the job previously held by Gabriel, aka the Head Angel. The best part? The Metatron says Aziraphale can take Crowley with him, and they can both be angels in Heaven again.
Meanwhile, Crowley has been having a heart-to-heart with resident lesbians Maggie (played by Maggie Service) and Nina (Nina Sosanya) about the fact that he and Aziraphale are clearly in love, and need to talk about their feelings, already. Crowley resolves to tell Aziraphale how he feels… and then Aziraphale bursts in with the news that he wants them both to go back to Heaven, as angels, “like the old times, only even nicer.”
Obviously, Crowley doesn’t want to go back to Heaven. After everything Heaven has done to prove they are just as cold-hearted and ruthless as Hell, Crowley can’t believe Aziraphale is even considering it. But Aziraphale, apparently, still believes that Heaven is the “good guys.” He thinks that, if he’s in charge, things will be different.
Crowley, now desperate for Aziraphale to stay with him on Earth, spits out his love confession: “We’ve known each other a long time. We’ve been on this planet for a long time—I mean, you and me. I could always rely on you. You could always rely on me. We’re a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we spent our existence pretending that we aren’t… I mean, the last few years, not really. And I would like to spend— [his voice breaks, and he collects himself]—I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, go off together, then we can, just the two of us. We don’t need Heaven, we don’t need Hell, they’re toxic. We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me, what do you say?”
It’s truly a romantic speech for the ages. But unfortunately, Aziraphale isn’t swayed. He wants Crowley to join him in Heaven. Crowley, seeing he has really lost, wishes Aziraphale luck, and turns to leave. Aziraphale pleads with Crowley, saying, “I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.”
“I understand,” Crowley replies. “I think I understand a whole lot better than you do.”
Then Crowley tells Aziraphale to listen. When Aziraphale admits he hears nothing, Crowley says, “That’s the point. No nightingales,” which is a reference to a line in the Good Omens novel, which, in the book, implied that the angel and demon lived happily ever after together. Only this time, there is no happy ending. “You idiot,” Crowley says. “We could have been us.”
The music swells, Crowley strides forward, grabs Aziraphale’s jacket, and kisses him. I mean, he really kisses him. But Aziraphale, heartbreakingly, doesn’t kiss back.
When Crowley finally releases Aziraphale, the angel says, perhaps, the most devastating break-up line of all time: “I forgive you.”
“Don’t bother,” Crowley responds. And with that, he leaves.
Aziraphale goes to Heaven. Crowley stays on Earth. No, they don’t make amends. No, Aziraphale doesn’t pull a running-through-the-airport love confession at the last second. Crowley finally confesses, and they finally kiss… and they immediately break up. The season ends with dual shots of both angel and demon, no longer together, looking miserable.
In other words: Be careful what you wish for, because Neil Gaiman might just give it to you… with a heaping pile of heartbreak.