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NY Post
New York Post
14 Dec 2023


NextImg:Divorce lawyer tells couples to prepare for holiday party affairs with coworkers: ‘Unsurprising’

Tis the season for holiday party affairs.

Infidelity at office holiday parties is “unsurprising,” according to British divorce lawyer Ayesha Vardag, but communicating with your partner before the festivity can help prevent a coworker’s rendezvous.

“If you are worried about unfaithfulness this festive season, I urge you to take a step back and reflect on how you really feel,” Vardag told the Daily Mail. “Whatever it is, only talking will get you to the root of the issue.”

Many adults will spend a considerable portion of their lifetime in the office, building potentially intimate relationships with coworkers instead of at home with their spouses.

Previously reported by The Post, a third of Americans were tempted to cheat on their partners at winter workplace festivities and almost two in 10 did.

“Workplaces are renowned for their innocent flirtation and playful jesting between breaks. After all, it is how we connect,” Vardag said. “We share common ground with our colleagues that our other halves will never be able to understand or connect with.”

Sometimes, that common ground can develop into promiscuous behavior at company holiday parties.

“The Christmas office party may well provide an outlet for such excitable bantering to continue into the early hours,” Vardag said. “Flirtation, after all, needn’t be amorous or ‘followed through.'”

Divorce attorney Ayesha Vardag believes couples should set boundaries before going to holiday parties. LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS – stock.adobe.com

However, innocent flirtation can take a turn when there’s alcohol in the mix.

“You cannot control your partner’s actions,” the divorce attorney said. “It is an impossible feat made even more impossible when alcohol is involved, and decision-making capacities are impaired.”

Vardag believes people should have a clear understanding of what they consider cheating, whether the infidelity was a drunken mistake or intentional because everyone has different thresholds for what they can forgive.

“The fact you are troubling yourself with the thought of you, or your spouse, cheating at the office party could simply be attributable to the drunken-kiss-with-a-colleague cliché we have all heard about,” she said.

But if you’re fearful your partner could be treating his “work wife” like his real one, a conversation should be had to set boundaries before the holiday celebration.

“Perhaps, unbeknown to you, they share your fears — or maybe there’s a more important conversation to be had. Whatever it is, only talking will get you to the root of the issue,” Vardag adds.

“There is no comfort to be had in counting down the days until their Christmas socializing is over, and even less solace in over-analyzing any suspicious signs once it’s over.”

flirty coworkers
Vardag encourages people to clarify what they consider cheating. demphoto – stock.adobe.com

Vardag encourages couples to be honest with each other and consider if there are underlying issues within the relationship aside from a potential holiday affair.

“Any anxiety surrounding yours, or your partner’s, fidelity may well signal issues in the relationship much greater than a mulled wine-fueled mistake under the mistletoe,” she said.