Big Brother 25 has been a rollercoaster ride for the houseguests and viewers alike. One week you’re Head of Household, literally the next week you’re sitting across from Julie Chen Moonves (emphasis hers) on live television and trying to figure out where it all went wrong. The strategy is next level, the gameplay is cutthroat, the challenges are demanding, and the alliances are out of control. Everyone is in the mix, acting like a double — or even triple — agent between rounds of Double Dare games.
And then there’s Bowie Jane.
Out of everyone in the 25th Big Brother house, Bowie Jane remains a wild card — a Hot Topic mannequin come to life who is literally too pure for this world/house. I am becoming more and more of a fan of hers as the weeks go by, even though it feels like she’s getting less and less screentime. She’s not a mover, she’s not a shaker, she’s barely even a player of the game — but dammit, I want a Bowie Jane edit of Big Brother Season 25.
Why? Well, first let’s ask the big question: Who is Bowie Jane? She’s a 45-year-old DJ/criminal trial attorney (!) from Melbourne, Australia who spent her teens playing professional tennis. She went into the house withholding only two pieces of information: that she’s a lawyer, and that she’s 45. Instead, she’s saying she’s 34 (she proudly interjects that information during the cast’s first introductions). Honestly, yeah, I guess she can pass for 34 — but it’s kinda giving gender-swapped “how do you do, fellow kids.”
As for the lawyer part, I have spent the entire season reading her lower-third as “barista/DJ” and completely forgot that “barrister” is what they call lawyers in Australia.
For her stay in the Big Brother house, she seems to have packed exclusively athleisure inspired by late ’90s Gwen Stefani and late ’00s Pink. Her close-cropped hair is somehow always in pigtails, her eyes are always covered in glitter, and her flawless teeth are always beaming as if they were sending up a signal that could be seen back home. And somehow, by my guesstimate, Bowie Jane is the second least-seen player of the season. I give Mecole the “least seen” honor, but she seems to be absent from the episodes because literally everyone in the house annoys the hell out of her. Bowie Jane? Bowie Jane loves everyone — and that’s a weakness on this show.
This is why I want to see a Bowie Jane edit of Big Brother Season 25. She is this incredibly quirky protagonist wandering haphazardly from competition to meeting to eviction to kitchen. We know what Cameron’s time in the Big Brother house looks like. We know what Cirie and Izzy were doing at all times. Jared probably wishes we’d see a lot less of him, TBH. But Bowie Jane? Where is she? What does she do with her time? She’s not schmoozing the Head of Household (I think I’ve seen her in that room three times in 20 episodes), nor is she seeking out alliances. When Jag was tasked with finding someone to sit out the Power of Veto competition in Episode 6,” Bowie Jane’s answer was, “I’m open to whatever.” She disappeared and returned at the end of the episode saying, “I literally have nothing to report.”
Love Bowie Jane.
I don’t know where else to put this but I figured it out: Bowie Jane reminds me of Nicole Kidman in the Saturday Night Live hyper-hypo sketch.
Bowie Jane’s background extra role is not lost on the show, either, as evidenced by the quick intro that Julie Chen Moonves gives Bowie Jane every Thursday before she votes.
Julie Chen Moonves is not wrong. Despite looking like she was covered in tape and dipped into a Claire’s, Bowie Jane keeps fading into the background. In fact, Bowie Jane seems to only be included in alliances because she was also in the room. That’s true of the long dead Professors alliance, as well as the now defunct Bye Bye Bitches and the now spectacularly defunct Legend 25. But it’s that last one that might signal a change in Bowie Jane’s game — one that I am eager to see play out!
Faced with the choice to evict either Jag or Red in Episode 16, Bowie Jane chose to evict Jag and keep her Legend 25 pal Red. Only she and Cameron voted to keep Red. Everyone else sent Red packing, which came a shock to Bowie Jane. Why didn’t her alliance tell her about the plan? This led to the most screentime Bowie Jane’s gotten all season, when she tearfully confronted Felicia, Cirie, and Izzy about being left out of the plan. Bowie Jane seems to be genuinely shocked that people would withhold information from her on a show all about scheming. Cirie does a good job of calmly assuaging her fears, while Felicia stares her down and tells Bowie Jane that it’s time to “get your big girl pants on and play the game.” Needless to say, Bowie Jane is done with Legend 25. Bowie Jane is now #TeamSpaceCowboy, and I am team #Starman… because that’s a David Bowie song about a space cowboy, sorta.
Further proof that we’re entering a new era of Bowie Jane: she came in second in the most recent HoH contest, the physically demanding Wall competition. Just imagine the chaos if Bowie Jane won HoH and had to put two people up for eviction! Who would she pick?! We know nothing of her strategy, we know so few of her thoughts on the other players. I’m imagining everyone trying to suck up to a Head of Household Bowie Jane, but, just like the cameras in the BB house, not being able to find her.
Most of all, though, I just want Bowie Jane to keep shining, keep beaming, keep on having a good time and doing what she’s doing, whatever that may be. And maybe, just maybe, Bowie Jane will win because everyone else will forget to evict her.