Wild 911 calls from when an F-35 military plane went missing showed a befuddled neighbor reported having “a pilot in the house” — and the pilot admitting he had no idea where the $90 million stealth jet now was.

The 4-minute clip caught a 911 dispatcher struggling to make sense of what the ejected pilot and the man whose South Carolina house he landed in were trying to explain.

“We got a pilot in the house, and I guess he landed in my backyard, and we’re trying to see if we could get an ambulance to the house, please,” the homeowner said.

The pilot, who gave his age as 47, told the dispatcher that he was feeling “OK” after descending with a parachute an estimated 2,000 feet — but he complained that his back hurt.

“Ma’am, a military jet crashed. I’m the pilot. We need to get rescue rolling,” the aviator said.

“I’m not sure where the airplane is. It would have crash-landed somewhere. I ejected.”

Later in the call, the pilot asked for medical help again, telling the dispatcher: “Ma’am, I’m a pilot in a military aircraft, and I ejected. So I just rode a parachute down to the ground. Can you please send an ambulance?”

The $90 million F-35 crashed after a malfunction the pilot blamed on weather prompted him to bail out over Charleston and land in the residential backyard.

The pilotless fighter jet kept flying for 60 miles at an altitude of 1,000 feet before crashing in a rural area near Indiantown — but it took the military more than a day to find the debris field.

With Post wires