No one sets a Bachelor in Paradise beach ablaze quite like a former Bachelorette lead/ex-fiancé of a current Paradise contestant/standup comedian. That’s right, Bachelor Nation. Katie Thurston dropped by Paradise Season 9, Episode 8 to host the first ever Bachelor in Paradise Comedy Roast. And it’s unclear if the cast will ever recover from their savage burns.
Paradise Season 9 has seen its fair share of petty drama, contestant feuds, and love triangles, so it’s no surprise that when the group was encouraged to poke fun at each other they eagerly whipped out notebooks, started brainstorming with pals, and showed no mercy.
“It’s a roast, you can be mean as hell,” John Henry declared. “We want to be mean. We don’t want to be nice,” Olivia echoed. As Katie observed the Bachelor Nation alum hard at work, she noted, “It’s almost as if they’ve been writing these jokes for days” before saying, “I think some feelings are gonna get hurt tonight.” And boy was she correct!
After introducing her fellow judges — Jesse Palmer, “The host who’s paid the most, to do the least,” and Wells Adams, “A man who’s as bitter as his drinks” (Bad Joke, in my opinion) — Katie took a cheap shot at John Henry’s intelligence and went for her ex-fiancé Blake Moynes’ girl Jess Girod, saying, “It’s no surprises Jess’ name is Baby Jess. Blake used to make me call him Daddy.” Alright, we see you, Katie.
It’s clear that Jess was immediately uncomfortable by the negative attention, but as the roast carried on, the intensity of the jokes increased, as did the number of offended — and in some cases, heartbroken — contestants.
Some jokes, like Jordan and Aven’s gentle mocking of ex- Rachel Recchia’s Paradise personality, were fairly innocent. Others, like Jordan telling Brayden he has a bright future as the assistant manager of Claire’s or Peter calling Jesse “a big fat thumb” were weak. But others, namely the majority of jokes aimed at Jess, Mercedes, Kat, and Rachel (four women! funny!) understandably inspired negative emotions, doubt, and unexpected feelings of betrayal.
I’ll be the first to admit that “It’s unfortunate that the doctor sent Sam home for constipation. Kat, you better watch — you’ve been full of shit this whole time” was a solid joke. But the Kat hits just kept coming, with Tanner even roasting her for getting Botox in a low blow. Earlier in the episode, Tyler got called out via Paradise Truth Box for not being that into Mercedes, which inspired more jokes about his commitment to her. And the fact that he said, “Mercedes thinks she’s a Mercedes but she’s more like a [BLEEP]” certainly didn’t help their relationship. Meanwhile, Jess endured more “Baby J” jokes about her and Blake’s age gap while Blake’s ex-fiancé looked on and laughed. And then the beach turned on one of my personal favorite Bachelorette leads: Rachel Recchia.
“Rachel, Katie may have had the most boring Bachelorette season, but at least she knows when to call it quits and start a new career,” Olivia said. Ouch.
“Rachel, you are a pilot. You had 33 men on your flight. How is it that you crash-landed on Paradise and you still can’t find a man? It’s giving LOST,” Aaron B. quipped. (Aaron B, if you’re reading this, you should have just said, “How is that you still haven’t landed a man?” and called it a day. It’s giving wordy.)
The Rachel zingers were heated, but ultimately survivable — until her ex-Bachelorette contestant and new Paradise love interest Tanner dared say, “We were all really excited when we found out there was gonna be an ex-Bachelorette on the beach, and obvious we were all really hoping for Gabby, but we got Rachel.” Dude, what the heck? I was rooting for you. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!
After hearing Tanner’s dig, Rachel had enough. “I definitely was enjoying this connection I had with Tanner. I opened up to him about things that I haven’t told anyone else, which I thought was so special. But why would you say something that mean?!” she asked the cameras. “We all can pretend it’s a joke, but deep down what you’re saying you actually feel, and I don’t think it’s funny.”
Sure, roasts are meant to be lighthearted, but as contestants kept noting, the burns are at least partially based in truth, which was why it was so hard not to overthink or take them personally — especially when they came from love interests! Ahead of another crucial rose ceremony, Jess, Kat, Mercedes, and Rachel were visibly emotional and rethinking their romantic connections.
“This roast set Paradise ablaze,” a contestant said. “The beach is on fire from this roast and it’s cooked to well done.” Stay tuned to see if relationships survive the wrath of Katie Thurston’s comedy set when Bachelor in Paradise returns after Thanksgiving.