Now that an overwhelming majority of employees are back to work following the pandemic, some may want to brush up on their cubicle etiquette.
Workers on social media are revealing the unspoken laws of the office that could make or break your relationships with colleagues.
The discussion comes as a survey from ResumeBuilder.com revealed that 90% of employers will enforce a return-to-office mandate in 2024.
On Reddit, users offered up pieces of advice for workers retiring their work-from-home uniforms — read: pajamas — and heading back to in-person collaboration.
Starting off with perhaps the most contentious topic: smelly food.
“Don’t f–king reheat fish at work for lunch. Though this should be an actual law,” one person voiced.
That goes for all “highly odorous food,” another chimed in.
“I do not care about your diet, your macros or your protein intake. Get that f–king poached salmon fillet out of the communal microwave,” someone else griped.
And, speaking of foul smells — be sure to partake in proper personal hygiene.
“Be clean. Be aware of how you smell. Armpits, feet, ass, breath,” wrote someone else. “It’s incredible what nose blindness can do. Even if you don’t think you smell, just shower and clean your clothes properly.”
Having to break it to your coworker that they have an unpleasant aroma is an “upsetting” conversation, another added.
“The employee will be mortified. You will be mortified. You will never forget the conversation,” they wrote. “It’s just awful. If you’re going to work you need clean clothes and a shower. If you’ve cycled to work you definitely need another shower. No exceptions. Ever.”
Some employees have gotten the memo to mind their stink — antiperspirant is flying off the shelves.
In October, Unilever reported a 15% increase in deodorant sales, which Graeme Pitkethly, the company’s finance director, chalked up to a “recovery” from the pandemic years, during which people didn’t bother to hide their body odor during lockdown or hybrid work.
Next up on the chopping block: Negative Nancys.
“Not complaining is a superpower. Seriously,” wrote on Redditor. “Nothing will make you unpopular faster than complaining all the time (even if it’s justified).”
“Try to avoid engaging with or participating in idle gossip around and about your colleagues, even if everybody else is doing it—especially if everybody else is doing it,” another advised.
“In every office environment there are enemies and alliances, and you don’t want to get a reputation as somebody that s–t talks others behind their back. Basically, just be Switzerland.”
Additional tidbits of advice include to beware of over-achieving — lest you will be given more work to do — and avoid scheduling meetings first thing on Mondays or last on Fridays or else “everyone will hate you.”
“If you’re on a team call or some kind of webinar for the love of God please put a headset on!” lamented one person. “The other person(s) in the room do not need to hear both sides of conversations for a sustained period, disturbing concentration and workflow.”
“If they tell you gossip, they will also gossip about you,” warned another user.
“Don’t talk about religion or politics to colleagues, in or out of the office,” someone else recommended. “The weather and football are acceptable topics.”