Slow weekend in New York.

With the Mets and Yanks each in last place, starved sports fans lost control — some wetting their pants — watching Aaron Rodgers play football for 10 minutes and Lionel Messi play futbol for 30 in games where wins were inconsequential.

In addition to the best QB and soccer superstar, baseball’s best player, Shohei Ohtani, was in town as well.

The Shohei show moves to Philly.

The Angels’ Lucas Giolito was the victim of a hard-luck loss in his last start.

Fanned nine Reds in six innings, allowing one run.

Philly’s Taijuan Walker has given up nine runs in his last 17 innings. Play $50 on the Angels (+120, FanDuel).

Yanks stank! Rays beat them, 7-4.

Tankees showed little fight. Even when the benches emptied after a near-beanball brawl.

However, the Cubs helped us turn a profit on Sunday by punishing the Pirates, 10-1.

Javier Assad scattered three hits over seven for the ‘W.’ Cody Bellinger had five RBIs.

Down -1,168 stottlemyres.