Save for his involvement in the Adam Sandler fiasco Jack and Jill and the infamous “Dunkaccino rap,” Al Pacino easily has one of the most illustrious filmographies in all of Hollywood. His trophy case — filled with Emmys, Golden Globes, Tonys, and an Academy Award — along with his unforgettable roles in The Godfather franchise, Heat, and Dog Day Afternoon, show just how lasting his impact has been.
But, it almost didn’t happen.
In his recently released memoir, Sonny Boy, 84-year-old Pacino reflects on his career as it nears its twilight. He reveals several surprising secrets, including that he turned down the role of Han Solo in the original Star Wars, which would go to Harrison Ford, and once thwarted an obsessed fan’s attempt to kidnap him. But, none are more shocking than the revelation that his humble beginnings were so rocky that he considered leaving the industry.
According to Entertainment Weekly, the actor writes in his book that while filming and preparing for his first role in Me, Natalie, a romantic comedy starring Patty Duke, he had a hard time overcoming imposter syndrome.
“I got there early in the morning because I was told to be there early in the morning, earlier than anyone does anything in the morning,” he wrote. “I had no one to talk to, and I sat around and I waited. And waited. And waited. And as I waited, I thought, ‘Is this how they make movies? I don’t want to do this with my life.’ I hadn’t slept the night before because the scene was so early, and when they put me in a costume, the clothes itched me.”
Pacino’s frustration stemmed from his character Tony’s lack of substance. In his limited screen time, he briefly flirts with the protagonist, Natalie Miller, at a dimly light party. After asking her bluntly if she “puts out,” he swiftly gets rejected and dances into the night.
That’s it. That was Pacino’s first moment on the silver screen — impressive yet confounding, both for the audience and the actor himself. Though he made the most of the small role, he wanted, and in retrospect, deserved, something a bit meatier. Regardless, it was a foot in the door.
“[I] had absolutely no understanding of what the fuck I was talking about or why I was saying it or what it would look like,” he wrote. “It went in the film. My first film credit.”
He was comforted by Duke, whom he remembered as the “sweetest of people,” and who helped him overcome the feelings of “depression” surrounding the experience.
Luckily, Pacino’s big break came soon after. He would leverage his next role, which happened to be his first leading role in The Panic in Needle Park, into The Godfather. From there, he became a household name. He would even get to rectify his early career jitters by portraying another misogynistic Tony in Scarface.
Sonny Boy is available now.