When it comes to performative romance, marriage proposals are like Valentine’s Day on steroids. For the proposer, it’s a chance to flex confidence, but it’s also a show of vulnerability: What if it leads to rejection? For the proposee, it can be anything from a dream come true to a cringey sneak attack.
In one proposal on TikTok posted in May and liked over 201,000 times, a couple embraces, barefoot on the sand of a Miami beach in front of a giant heart made of red roses. She squeals and jumps into his arms, shouting that she loves it, looking at the ring.
Maybe viral proposal videos all started in 2012 with the famous Isaac’s Live Lip-Dub shot in Portland, Oregon.
The girl sits in the trunk of a Honda listening to “Marry You” by Bruno Mars, while her friends and family dance behind the moving vehicle in increasingly ludicrous and joyful fashion.
The beach proposal mentioned above was planned by a Miami business called TheOne Studio, which specializes in setting up flowers, lights and cameras for semi-spontaneous marriage proposals. They are quickies, by Bruno Mars standards, more suited to the TikTok span, but still manage to capture all the feels.
TheOne Studio will set up flowers, tea lights and a MARRY ME neon sign in a park for an hour (the Heartbeat Proposal) for $700, or something similar on a heart-shaped pier beside a pond with swans (the Mystic Heart Pier proposal) for $1,299. Or for $400, they’ll fill your hotel room with mylar balloons.
As Olya TK of TheOne Studio told The Post, “Many men prepare a personal speech, often writing it in the Notes app on their phones, or, for a more sentimental touch, on paper. It’s a meaningful and trending gesture.”
She added, “Surprisingly, the size or cost of the ring is not what matters most. Time after time, it’s not the carat but the significance of the ring and the shift in status, from girlfriend to fiancée, that brings true joy to the bride-to-be.”
Her partner Hanna stresses on TheOne blog that women usually prefer nature, including real flowers over artificial, and men’s grand gestures may be less touching than catering to the preferences of one’s beloved. “Women often appreciate attention to detail and personalized touches that make the moment intimate and heartfelt.” Talk to her first.
Custom jewelers Glamira looked into marriage proposal trends and found California was the top spot for Instagram proposal posts. Top places included Southern California beaches, plus Napa Valley vineyards and San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge.
In second place came New York with locations like Central Park, the Brooklyn Bridge and upscale Manhattan restaurants.
Hawaii was the third most popular state, with Instagram posts showing beaches at sunset or the Road to Hana in Maui. The Aloha State had the highest score on Google Trends overall, showing lots of people are looking for proposal ideas.
Hawaii and Washington, both famous for their natural beauty, had a very high number of Instagram posts compared to their population size.
Google Trends data also revealed that “sustainable proposal ideas” and “eco-friendly proposal” are increasingly popular searches, which might go with proposals in nature.
Keep it simple. Like, “I want to build a future together with you…” or “You bring out the best version of me…,” capped by “Will you marry me?”
Yeliz Misirli, jewelry expert at Glamira, has a hint for those traveling to pop the question: “Hide a ring box inside a pair of socks or sunglasses case. If you’re flying, try to stand in a different security queue from your partner.”
The American Gem Society suggests picking a location special to you and your partner, such as a mountain, restaurant or concert. “Make the setting an important part of a great memory.”
The assist: If it’s an elaborate setup in public with rose petals and candles, get at least two friends to help build and protect it from curious locals and peeing dogs while the couple makes their entrance. Have someone with a steady hand film the moment, because a redo won’t look natural.
Keep it simple. Like, “I want to build a future together with you…” or “You bring out the best version of me…,” capped by “Will you marry me?”
To follow up, aside from editing and distributing your video to family, friends and the multiverse, there’s the little issue of living happily ever after.
Talk to your partner about that stuff too, before you hit “accept all.”
During someone else’s big event
It’s disrespectful to steal someone’s thunder at their wedding, engagement, birthday or graduation. Your proposal moment should be about just you two.
At a funeral
If a close loved one has died recently, put the proposal off. Emotions are heightened then, and you won’t “cheer them up” even with the best-laid life plans. Similarly, don’t propose when one of you is stressed about job insecurity, deep health issues or life changes such as relocation. Think mellow.
When your partner is unprepared
Surprises are only good if you are pretty sure of the answer. Have the big talks first — jobs, kids, money, location and sports team.