Back-to-school season is stressful for more than just kids.
On top of all the money parents have to spend to get their children ready to return to school, there’s the added politics and drama of mom cliques.
“Parenting is a really sensitive subject. Everyone has different standards and different family dynamics and values,” etiquette expert Jo Bryant told the Daily Mail.
“Most primary school classes have an eclectic mix of parents, from the mega-worthy and super-efficient to the always-disorganized and the just-don’t-cares. You need to be somewhere in the middle.”
But how do you know which mom you are in the group?
Here are Bryant’s six most common mistakes to avoid to keep both you and your child out of social suicide.
The first rule of the class moms’ WhatsApp group is never to leave. Mute it if you need to, but don’t leave the group.
On the other hand, don’t bombard it with questions and rely on the chat for your information. Be sure to check school announcements and messages before sending all your thoughts to the group.
Limit the big chat for academic and practical purposes only — break off to smaller chats for anything social.
If you’re going to be working from home while having another child over for a playdate, make sure to clear it with the other parent first.
And even if the other parent says it’s OK, you still need to be accessible to the kids.
If you need to be in your office on a Zoom call, leave the door open so the children can access you and so you can hear what’s going on.
If your child goes to a friend’s house and eats McDonald’s or watches more TV than you would allow, don’t complain — just don’t allow them back there for a playdate again.
Gossip moves fast, and there’s no reason to talk about another’s way of parenting.
And if your playdate offers are consistently declined, take the hint and move on — don’t take it too personally.
On a similar note, if a parent is treating your kid and spending a decent amount of money on them, or if they are driving them a long distance, it’s proper etiquette to return the favor.
It’s not necessary to volunteer at every event, but if you’re attending, you should offer to help out.
Other parents find it frustrating to see one walking around and enjoying the holiday fair but never doing anything behind the scenes.
The playground is not your office, and once you’re there you should stay off your phone unless it’s urgent.
Not only does being on your phone give of a stand-offish vibe, but it also sends a message that you’re not prioritizing your child.
Putting your phone away also sets a good example to your child to be present and in the moment.
Of course, you should be proud of your child and their success, but other parents likely don’t want to hear it — especially when compared to their own kids.
Instead, go ahead and brag to family and family friends. If another parent compliments your kid, say thank you and move on — don’t turn it into a speech about how well they’re doing.