“I’d like to report there’s a ghost in my window.”

Who’d they call? 311!

With the Big Apple’s information hotline turning 20 years old, City Hall celebrated Thursday by releasing a report that lists some of the most memorable calls operators have gotten.

The funniest inquiries — “calls to remember” — were catalogued by year in a nine-page report that also detailed the sobering quality of life issues the service handles, including complaints about landlords skimping on maintenance, excessive noise and illegal parking.

But among the nearly 360 million calls the service has juggled since its launch in 2003 are tales that still stand out.

In 2004, one caller wanted to know if they could “file a noise complaint against my refrigerator.”

Three years later, curious residents dialed in to see who won American Idol.

In multiple years, 311 operators fielded queries about where to find the best slice of pizza nearby, and for details on when Santa would land in Manhattan.

Residents with a need to know also rang up the hotline for relationship advice — including a 2009 request to “check if my boyfriend is married” and a 2019 query on whether a divorced couple can “still live in the same house but in different rooms.”

In 2014, one New Yorker called to complain about a raccoon eating lasagna on their porch. In 2016, an alarmed resident reported a person tying up a goat in a building’s stairwell.

The best of 2023, so far, officials said: “Can you transfer me to a ‘UFO-ologist’?”

As The Post’s Cindy Adams would say: Only in New York kids, only in New York.