Politico in its absolute obsession with pushing Jeffrey Epstein stories has broken its old record of five stories a few days ago and has now pushed out upon its readers six, six, SIX Epstein stories in a 24 hour period. A symptom of its laughable urgency to hopefully make its readers forget all about the Russia Hoax revelations by Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.
In fact, Politico has barely touched upon that more impactful scandal while shoveling up one Epstein story after another. It all makes one wonder if the Politico reporters are paid an Epstein bonus for writing about this same topic over and over and over again.
The 24 hour Epstein frenzy at Politico was kicked off at 4:26 PM on Wednesday by their Congress reporter Jordain Carney weighing in with "Thune: Johnson will have to ‘deal’ with Epstein mess."
Johnson chose to wrap up House votes early this week and send members home for the summer because of growing dysfunction fueled by the bipartisan push for more disclosure around Epstein, the deceased financier and former sex offender with ties to Trump and other prominent figures.
"Other prominent figures" such as Bill Clinton (whose blue dress portrait graced the wall of Epstein's Manhattan mansion) or Bill Gates? Naw! Forget about them. TRUMP is all that counts in the Politico perspective.
Thune said the Epstein conflict isn’t yet bubbling up in his chamber.
“I’m not hearing the hue and cry, I guess I would say, to do a deep dive into this — to hold hearings or anything like that,” he said. “At least not at the moment.”
Thune said he and Trump have discussed Epstein “in passing.” Thune said Trump has conveyed that “there are other priorities that should take precedence.”
Other priorities such as tariffs, the Ukraine war, or the Chinese threating Taiwan with invasion? What's wrong with you, Senator Thune? Don't you know that Epstein MUST take front and center of everything going on in the world, or so Politico seems to want as their fantasy arrangement of priorities.
Next up on the Epstein timeline is this contribution by congressional reporter Hailey Fuchs a little over an hour later on Wednesday at 5:42 PM, "House Republicans back Epstein subpoena."
House Republicans are planning to subpoena the DOJ for the release of documents related to Jeffrey Epstein, after a congressional panel approved the move Wednesday.
Gee! Do you think that maybe an equal number of congressional Democrats will also be interested in the Tulsi Gabbard files she released? Inquiring minds would like to know Ms. Fuchs.
Politico considers Epstein to be of such vital importance (in their desperate attempt to bring Trump down) that their reporters, Meredith Lee Hill and Hailey Fuchs, were burning the way past midnight oil to post this melodramatic missive at the ridiculously early hour of 4:45 AM on Thursday, "‘The rule was going down’: Inside the House GOP’s Epstein meltdown."
Inside his cavernous office on Monday afternoon, Speaker Mike Johnson was facing a growing crisis. The House GOP conference, which included some of the Louisiana Republican’s key allies, was in full rebellion over the spiraling Jeffrey Epstein situation.
A little over an hour later we wake up to Politico Playbook at 5:52 AM with the "bombshell" headline of "The Epstein bombshell explodes."
It exploded? I and most everybody else must have missed it. Nevertheless Adam Wren and Dasha Burns go full Drama Queen to convince us that Epstein is somehow some sort of exploding story affecting Mr. and Mrs. America and all you ships at sea.
THE CRISIS IS HERE: Yesterday afternoon, the Wall Street Journal dropped a four-bylined bombshell: Attorney General Pam Bondi and Deputy AG Todd Blanche briefed Trump in May that his name appeared multiple times in the Epstein files alongside many others.
This morning, Trump’s “Epstein files” ordeal has entered a new phase. If it wasn’t a crisis already, it is indisputably one now — and it threatens to swallow the news cycle and drastically complicate the GOP’s push to enact Trump’s agenda.
Oh! Oh! Oh! How shall we ever be able to handle this manufactured crises? The Epstein Files "ordeal" has entered a (gasp!) new phase! The walls are closing in on Trump! It's all over now except for the belly laughing!
Epstein Crises to Intensify! Epstein Crises to INTENSIFY! How do I know? Well,: because Meredith Lee Hill informed us of this at 12:42 PM with this, "‘The bill is going to come due’: House GOP braces for Epstein crisis to intensify."
Internal fury over the House GOP’s Jeffrey Epstein crisis is still swirling as President Trump faces an all-out revolt from his biggest supporters on Capitol Hill.
And now we come to the last but best. Unlike the other Politico Epstein stories that end up boring the hell out of its readers, this SIXTH and final Epstein story of the 24 hour period is absolutely fascinating since it completely illustrates the pathos and desperation of Politico to push the Epstein story to such an absurd extent that they end up inadvertently humiliating themselves in the pages of a supposedly serious periodical about politics. The end result makes you truly realize that the "D" in TDS stands for "Derangement."
So take a deep breath as we enter their 8:04 AM entry on Thursday by Paul Dallison who reveals where his potty mind is at in "South Park skewers Trump over Epstein files, depicts him in bed with Satan."
After a two-year break, “South Park” returned to TV on Wednesday night with an explosive episode aimed squarely at Donald Trump that depicted the president in bed with Satan and referenced Jeffrey Epstein.
...The episode features Trump arguing with Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, who complains about tariffs on Canada and says: “What are you, some kind of dictator from the Middle East?” After confusing Iran and Iraq, the “South Park” version of Trump tells Carney to “relax.”
Trump is also depicted lining the walls of the White House with naked pictures of himself. In another scene, Trump jumps into bed with Satan, who rejects his sexual advances and comments on the size of his penis.
Satan later confronts Trump about his name appearing on the “Epstein list” and adds: “It’s weird that whenever it comes up, you just tell everyone to relax.”
Obviously Dallison seems to be aware enough to realize that the boringly similar Politico Epstein stories that are pretty much interchangeable elicits little reaction from the readers so he shakes things up by going full juvenile with... "penis." Yeah, you're so cutting edge, Paul. However, despite that I bet you wouldn't publicly state the difference between men and women for fear of putting your job at risk.