The Trump administration recently put out a memo that says that federal employees should be allowed to talk about their religion at work, so naturally CBS’s outgoing host of The Late Show, “devout Catholic” Stephen Colbert, mocked the idea as provocative and even had a fake argument with keyboardist Corey Bernhard about whether to serve Moloch.
Colbert began by contradicting himself, “When he's not suing everybody, he's signing insane executive actions. The latest is a memo that allows federal workers to persuade coworkers their religion is correct.”
After much booing from the audience, Colbert resumed, “And also with you. They say any religion, but you get a sense of which one the memo is rooting for. Because it says that no disciplinary action should be taken against employees displaying religious items, quote, ‘such as crosses, crucifixes, and mezuzah.’"
While trying to argue that the memo prefers a specific religion—Christianity—Colbert referenced a list of religious items, including a Jewish mezuzah.
Colbert, however, doubled down, “Yes, you can display any religious artifacts: crosses, crucifixes, lowercaseTs made of wood, the thing that vampires are scared of, and mezuzah. Maybe two mezuzahs, like this. Now, before you say that this is going to start a holy war in the break room, you should know that the memo allows employees to push their religion ‘provided that such efforts are not harassing in nature.’ Of course, converting people to your religion is always very chill. That's why all those people died in the Spanish Gentle Suggestion. The new guidelines have alarmed some legal scholars—”
Bernhard then interrupted and began a fake argument that was both self-deprecating and also tried to make the argument that people who support the memo would recoil if someone tried to convert them. Bernhard declared that, “I was wondering if you'd want to hear the good news about my dark lord, Moloch.”
After Colbert said no, Bernhard tried again, “But his dark powers could save your show.”
Colbert replied, “Okay, I'm listening. What would I have to do?” and Bernhard answered, “Not much. A little ritual sacrifice, maybe volunteer at a few of our bake sales.”
As Colbert noticed, co-workers are allowed to ask their colleagues to stop any discussion, but even stranger is Colbert’s opposition to symbols. If someone has a Bible at their desk or a Star of David necklace or something similar, why would anyone, especially a “devout Catholic,” think that is unacceptable?
Here is a transcript for the July 29 show:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
7/29/2025
11:44 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: When he's not suing everybody, he's signing insane executive actions. The latest is a memo that allows federal workers to persuade coworkers their religion is correct. And also with you. They say any religion, but you get a sense of which one the memo is rooting for. Because it says that no disciplinary action should be taken against employees displaying religious items, quote, "such as crosses, crucifixes, and mezuzah."
Yes, you can display any religious artifacts: crosses, crucifixes, lowercase Ts made of wood, the thing that vampires are scared of, and mezuzah. Maybe two mezuzahs, like this. Now, before you say that this is going to start a holy war in the break room, you should know that the memo allows employees to push their religion "provided that such efforts are not harassing in nature." Of course, converting people to your religion is always very chill. That's why all those people died in the Spanish Gentle Suggestion. The new guidelines have alarmed some legal scholars—
COREY BERNHARD: Hey, Stephen?
COLBERT: What's up, Corey? I'm in the middle of a monologue here.
BERNHARD: You know how it just became okay to convert your co-workers?
COLBERT: Yeah, Corey. I'm talking about it right now.
BERNHARD: Oh. I don't watch the show.
COLBERT: What do you want, Corey?
BERNHARD: I was wondering if you'd want to hear the good news about my dark lord, Moloch.
COLBERT: No, I don't hear Moloch. You do you, but I'm not interested.
BERNHARD: But his dark powers could save your show.
COLBERT: Okay, I'm listening. What would I have to do?
BERNHARD: Not much. A little ritual sacrifice, maybe volunteer at a few of our bake sales.
COLBERT: You have bake sales?
BERNHARD: We're not monsters, Stephen. We just worship one. Lemon square? Only fifty cents. And your soul.
COLBERT: No thanks. I’m low carb these days.