If you are a normal person, you might have missed that over the Labor Day weekend, left-wing portions of the internet were running wild with rumors that President Trump had died. Of course, these rumors were false, but on Tuesday, CBS’s Stephen Colbert still had to stop The Late Show audience from booing that fact.
Colbert began what would’ve been his set-up, “When I came back in the office, I was shocked to learn that this weekend, the biggest story was frenzied social media rumors speculating whether Donald Trump had died.”
As the audience cheered, Colbert continued, “For the record, Donald Trump is very much alive. Okay? And—”
Colbert then had to stop to rebuke the audience, which was now booing, “No. We like our presidents alive.”
This is why viewing a comedy show as a cathartic experience to vent anger and frustration is destined to end in failure. Eventually someone was going to take it too far and say the quiet part out loud.
As it was, Colbert got back on track, “Donald Trump is very much alive. And this whole crazy rumor started simply because Trump had zero events on his schedule Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. And one of the only signs that he might be around was 'Music in the Rose Garden, which the White House confirmed was the president's music.’"
Colbert added, “Which I gotta say is not the strongest proof of life. ‘Yes, nurse, I do see that flatline. But the patient is clearly alive 'cause his iPhone is playing ‘Papa Loves Mambo.’ Papa loves Mambo. But because he was out of public view, and because when he is in public view, eeerrghh, the internet went crazy. ‘Is Trump dead’ and ‘Trump dead’ were among the top searches on Google while the top search on Bing was, as always: Where find Google.
If Colbert viewed his show as a comedy show first and not a nightly therapy session where liberals come to process their feelings and cope with their problems, he could’ve been spared the embarrassment of having to rebuke his own audience for booing the Trump hadn’t actually died.
Here is a transcript for the September 2 show:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
9/2/2025
STEPHEN COLBERT: When I came back in the office, I was shocked to learn that this weekend, the biggest story was frenzied social media rumors speculating whether Donald Trump had died. [Cheers] For the record, Donald Trump is very much alive. Okay? And. [Boos] No. We like our presidents alive.
Donald Trump is very much alive. And this whole crazy rumor started simply because Trump had zero events on his schedule Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. And one of the only signs that he might be around was "Music in the Rose Garden, which the White House confirmed was the president's music."
Which I gotta say is not the strongest proof of life. "Yes, nurse, I do see that flatline. But the patient is clearly alive 'cause his iPhone is playing 'Papa Loves Mambo.'" Papa loves Mambo. But because he was out of public view, and because when he is in public view, eeerrghh, the internet went crazy. "Is Trump dead" and "Trump dead" were among the top searches on Google while the top search on Bing was, as always: Where find Google.