For more than a year, Justin Trudeau’s government has been on track for a devastating defeat in the next election. But only now have polls begun to show that they might be facing near-total annihilation. According to the results of an Angus Reid Institute poll published this week, the Liberals could enter the next Parliament with a caucus of just six seats.

This is where we usually put Dear Diary, the National Post’s satirical re-imagining of a week in the life of a newsmaker. Instead, here’s something a little different: The imagined results of a Liberal brainstorming session on how they could possibly avoid a humiliating defeat in the next election.