It’s been a strange Olympics.

The most inspiring physical performance to date has been Celine Dion, back from a debilitating neurological disorder, serenading Paris upon the Eiffel Tower. Down below on the clay courts, Rafael Nadal, beloved like Celine, is no longer able to perform. As Celine might suggest to Rafa musically, it’s Time to Say Goodbye.

There was the intense monitoring of fecal pollution in the Seine. After some postponements, E. coli levels in the river dropped sufficiently to permit the triathletes to plunge in. They conceded that the post-sewage Seine did not taste great.