The dumpster fire of American presidential politics is raging so hot that it is considered an epochal triumph that a man of obvious mental diminishment has been dragged out of the race. President Joe Biden realized that his main campaign message — I am not senile! — was not a path to victory and withdrew.

Having felt (slightly) guilty for making an old man walk the plank, Democrats are now bathing him in sincere affection and faux praise as being the greatest president since FDR, who was president when Biden was born.