"Before I go to bed, I sometimes watch cat videos on Instagram, with my cat," a single male acquaintance recently confided to me. Amused, I commented on this confidence with an encouraging, "That's cute!" He responded: "Or pathetic. Or both." This list of possible qualifiers betrayed an uncertainty as to the very nature of the "cat-man" status. Should this special relationship be seen as a cruel admission of loneliness, or as a demonstration of his altruistic and sensitive nature? Or both?

Amid this sea of questions, the only sure thing that remains is the impossibility of a symbiosis between owner and cat when viewing the videos in question. Cat behaviorist Hugues Martinat: "Some species, such as elephants and chimpanzees, have passed the mirror test, which means they are able to recognize their own image. For the moment, cats are not at this stage."

So there's no need to consult your cat on your choice of Netflix program. The question remains: Is the cat-man a polyamorous man who's only too happy to open up his feline sentimentality to a third party or parties? Or, on the contrary, is he a wounded misanthrope, the male counterpart of the negative "cat lady" stereotype? Most of them seem to be in an in-between position, oscillating between cat and love partner in a nonchalant confusion of attachments. Vincent, a doting owner of a little black cat, said, "Sometimes I give my girlfriends the same nicknames as my cat, so they don't always know who I'm talking to. Generally, they find it charming."

Emotional substitute

Journalist Nadia Daam, author of Comment Ne Pas Devenir une Fille à Chat. L'Art d'Etre Célibataire sans Sentir la Croquette ("How Not to Become a Cat Lady: The Art of Being Single without Smelling like Cat Food") has her own take on the matter. According to her, male "cat-libbers" are far more socially valued than their female counterparts: "Cat ladies are perceived as lonely and depressed, whereas cat guys are seen as endearing and sexy. On Tinder, a lot of men pose with their cats, as if to show that they are not predators and that they reject the codes of toxic masculinity."

This difference in outlook is indicative of society's persistent prejudice against single women, for whom adopting an animal would necessarily be an emotional substitute, whereas for men, the cat alone would have an enriching dimension. This observation becomes even clearer if we make the necessary distinction between a guy with one cat and a cat guy who could have more than one. Among the most famous, Cocteau and Hemingway, for example, wrote surrounded by what can only be described as a harem of cats. Daam commented, "This image of Hemingway surrounded by cats does indeed conjure up an idea of creative strength, whereas a woman living alone with a dozen cats comes across as a madwoman, someone who has lost their footing."

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