No one is the target of more unsolicited advice than a visibly pregnant person. Friends, coworkers and strangers all seem compelled by the sight of an abundant belly to share their experience and wisdom — unbothered by how generic and repetitive it tends to be.

One common refrain that stands out as particularly useless is “Sleep now while you still can!”— a platitude often offered with a sour mix of “been there” solidarity and “just you wait” anticipatory schadenfreude.

Even assuming best intentions — that the speaker truly wants to prepare a future parent for the struggles of newborn care — this advice is nonsensical. Sleep is not a commodity that can be squirreled away and then withdrawn for later use like cash at an ATM.

“It makes sense from the maximally sleep-deprived state of a postpartum person that they’d look back at the more restful nights of pregnancy fondly, but that doesn’t mean sleep necessarily comes easily as a pregnant person,” Morgan West, director of the East Bay Birth Collective in Oakland, California, told HuffPost.

There are a number of factors that can make it difficult to get a good night’s rest during both pregnancy and the postpartum period, but with the right support, new and expectant parents can successfully navigate these transitions.

Why Sleep Can Be Hard During Pregnancy

Knowing that your opportunities for eight uninterrupted hours will be coming to an end doesn’t necessarily make for a restful night.

“Sleep difficulties are incredibly common during pregnancy. Research indicates that up to 78% of pregnant people experience sleep disruptions, with one study even reporting that 100% of pregnant participants experienced frequent nighttime awakenings,” Catherine Wasley, a U.K.-based sleep consultant, told HuffPost.

The causes of these sleep struggles may be physical or emotional in nature.

“Physical discomforts, including back pain, restless legs, and frequent urination, often make staying asleep a challenge,” Wasley said. Some people are even woken by their baby’s movements inside the womb.

“Hormonal shifts, such as increased progesterone, can cause fatigue yet disrupt sleep quality,” Wasley added.

Sometimes, worries take hold once you’re up: “It’s also quite common for these wakeful periods to lead to thought loops, anxious or not, about work, life, birthing, postpartum, or any of the many concerns and topics on the mind during pregnancy,” West said.

Postpartum Sleep Challenges

While the main obstacle will be the baby’s frequent wakings and irregular hours — babies are notoriously indifferent to the distinction between day and night — it’s not uncommon for people to find themselves facing postpartum insomnia as well.

I vividly remember lying awake in bed one night with my newborn asleep in his bassinet at my side. I knew that I needed very badly to sleep, but instead, I felt amped up and fueled with adrenaline, as though someone had just stuck me behind the wheel of a racecar.

There are several factors that can make it hard to rest even when the baby is sleeping or with another caregiver. These include the steep drop in hormone levels that follows birth, as well as what some people experience as postpartum anxiety or hypervigilance.

“Many parents find it hard to ‘switch off’ due to heightened concern for their baby’s safety, making it difficult to relax even when the baby is sleeping. This hyper-awareness is especially common in the first three months,” Wasley said. It’s not unusual, for example, for a parent to feel compelled to get out of bed to check that the baby is still breathing.

On the other hand, babies can be surprisingly noisy as they sleep, kicking or grunting, and some parents find that this sound disrupts their sleep as well.

Insomnia can also be a symptom of mental health issues, both during pregnancy and postpartum. “If someone is noticing heightened anxiety or other mental health struggles with disrupted sleep, finding supportive mental health care is so important,” West said, adding that a person should not delay in getting this care.

Ways To Get More Rest

Wasley and West offered the following tips to pregnant or postpartum people who are struggling with sleep.

• Make sure you are getting enough to eat and drink during the day. If you are nursing, your body requires extra calories and water. West suggested “a small protein-rich snack and a calming tea” to help get you ready to climb back into bed if you find yourself up late.

• Exercise during the day, as recommended by your provider. This is often as simple as taking a walk.

• Go outside every day. “Daily exposure to natural light, even for 20 minutes in the morning, helps regulate your circadian rhythm and improves both your and your baby’s sleep,” Wasley said.

• If you’re up, West suggested “low-intensity” activities such as reading in low light, meditating, listening to an audiobook or affirmations, or doing breathing exercises to help you relax.

• Avoid spending time on your phone when you wake up at night, as well as an hour before you go to bed. “Blue light from phones, tablets, and TVs can interfere with melatonin (the sleepy hormone) production,” Wasley explained.

During the postpartum phase, it can help new parents to have realistic expectations about what sleep will look like, and all parents benefit from the support of their family members, friends or caregivers such as postpartum doulas.

“No matter how much preparation a family has, I nearly always hear that postpartum time is so much harder than they could have imagined — and there is nothing wrong with this, it is absolutely so hard, and so hard to understand until you’re in it,” West said.

While almost all parents caring for newborns experience sleep challenges, the solutions will be different for every family and each individual baby.

“It’s important to remind parents that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep,” Wasley said.

“Each baby is different, and what works for one may not work for another. It’s essential that parents trust their instincts and focus on what works for them in the moment, instead of worrying about creating ‘bad habits’ or future sleep issues.”

West emphasized the importance of leaning on your community to help take care of household tasks or the baby so that you have more time to rest. Peer support can also be a lifeline during this transition. “Hearing from other families who are going through the same thing, and finding support groups with other postpartum folks, can be so important in understanding you are not alone and this isn’t forever,” West said.

Knowing that this stage is not permanent can be helpful, Wasley concurred. “Instead of dreading night wakings, frame them as temporary and part of the newborn phase,” she advised. “Prepare for these moments with snacks, water, or a favorite podcast nearby to make them more manageable.”

Some families, including mine and Wasley’s, find that everyone sleeps better with the baby close by. The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages co-sleeping, or having the baby in the same room as parents, but warns against bed-sharing, or letting the baby sleep in bed with you. U.K. organizations such as the Lullaby Trust instead recognize that bed-sharing (planned or unplanned) is common and emphasize maximizing safety when a parent does fall asleep with the baby. It is much safer to fall asleep while nursing your baby on a flat, firm sleeping surface like a mattress than in a recliner or on a sofa, where their risk of death is 67 times higher.

Keeping in mind that this period in your lives will be temporary, make an effort to rest while the baby sleeps, when possible, and give yourself permission to outsource some tasks or to let things go.

“This isn’t the time for perfection,” Wasley said. “Delegate tasks where possible and focus on what truly needs to be done. The world won’t end if the dishes or laundry wait another day.”