Encountering a narcissist can present a range of challenges and leave you feeling emotionally drained and manipulated. When that person is a close relative or romantic partner, the issues compound.

“If you’ve had a narcissist in your life, you probably felt that you didn’t have a voice,” Virginia Gilbert, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told HuffPost. “In extreme cases, you may not know who you are apart from the narcissist because everything you did was about accommodating them.”

That’s why it’s helpful to spend time trying to understand narcissism, either by working with a professional or reading about the ways it manifests. Giving yourself the space to grieve and learn can help you set boundaries and reclaim your own self-worth.

To be clear, the term narcissism can refer to a personality trait or to the official diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, as defined in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

Those who study narcissism sometimes categorize narcissists into different subtypes to explain the various tendencies people might display, but these are not official categories outlined in the DSM-5. Different parties have proposed varying numbers of categories, but a popular breakdown in the zeitgeist of late is five ― grandiose (or over), vulnerable (or covert), communal, antagonistic and malignant.

Below, experts explain the characteristics of these five types of narcissists and share their advice for dealing with people who fit these categories.

Grandiose Or Overt Narcissism

“Grandiose narcissism is the most well-known subtype of narcissistic personality disorder, as it’s the one most people think of when they hear the word ‘narcissist,’” said Hannah Alderete, a licensed mental health counselor and the author of “Break Free From Narcissistic Mothers: A Step-by-Step Workbook for Ending Toxic Behavior, Setting Boundaries, and Reclaiming Your Life.”

She noted that this type of narcissism is characterized by arrogance, entitlement, unstable self-esteem, low empathy and a need for attention and validation. They usually display an inflated sense of self-importance and tend to dominate conversations.

“These types of narcissists are showboaters who love to brag, inflate their achievements, name-drop, and use grand gestures to call attention to themselves,” Gilbert said. “They exploit others because they believe someone as special as they are deserves whatever they want, and they don’t care about who gets hurt in the process.”

Grandiose narcissists can be very charming and charismatic as they display outward confidence.

“Common signs of a grandiose narcissist include always wanting to be the center of attention, having an unrealistic view of their abilities, belittling others’ opinions or accomplishments, lashing out when they aren’t praised excessively and seeming preoccupied with status, money, appearance, or superficial topics,” said Chelsey Brook Cole, a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse.

How to deal with grandiose narcissists:

“For those dealing with an overt or grandiose narcissist, it’s crucial to establish firm boundaries and limit the amount of personal or emotional information you share with them,” Alderete said, adding that you should not expect any emotional authenticity or reciprocity, even in close relationships with overt narcissists.

Narcissistic people crave and seek “narcissistic supply” from others to fuel their inflated sense of self-importance. So try to avoid providing that.

“This supply can range from provoking arguments to elicit a reaction, to seeking external admiration to reinforce their grandiosity,” Alderete explained. “The less reactivity you give them, the better. This is where strategies like the ‘gray rock’ method can be useful, presenting yourself as dull and uninteresting so that they lose interest in engaging with you.”

This method can be emotionally draining over time, however. You might also try shifting conversations by giving them a sense of what they crave without investing your emotional energy.

“If you want to keep the conversation light and avoid sharing too much about your personal life, you can give them a compliment, ask for their opinion, or talk about a subject they enjoy, as this will boost their ego and help you stay firm in your boundaries,” Cole said.

Vulnerable Or Covert Narcissism

“Covert narcissism is more challenging to identify because the individual doesn’t display the same grandiose behavior that most would expect a narcissist to have,” said licensed marriage and family therapist Natalie Moore. “Rather, the covert narcissist tends to ‘play the victim’ or adopt a martyr mentality in order to manipulate, gain sympathy and garner attention from others.”

She added that people-pleasers can be particularly vulnerable to covert narcissists’ manipulation tactics ― like guilt tripping and emotional neediness ― due to their conflict avoidance, difficulty setting boundaries and aversion to feelings of guilt.

“Whereas the overt narcissist might cheat with someone else’s spouse because they believe they’re fabulous and should have what they want, the covert narcissist might feel entitled to someone else’s partner because they’ve suffered so much and the world now owes them,” Gilbert said.

So like grandiose narcissists, vulnerable narcissists also feel entitled to special treatment ― they just don’t show it overtly. Instead, this narcissism hides beneath a facade of insecurity.

“They may appear introverted, shy, withdrawn, vulnerable or self-deprecating, yet harbor feelings of superiority. Their manipulative behaviors are less apparent, often expressing entitlement and self-importance in passive-aggressive ways,” said Marie-Line Germain, a professor of human resources and leadership at Western Carolina University and author of “Narcissism at Work: Personality Disorders of Corporate Leaders.”

Covert narcissists often engage in the silent treatment and give backhanded compliments, she added. They may appear withdrawn, meek and anxious, and they can be hypersensitive to perceived criticism and hold onto grudges ― which allows their sense of victimhood to persist.

How to deal with vulnerable narcissists:

“Covert narcissists lack agency, believe bad things just happen to them and feel wronged when people have understandable responses to their out-of-line behavior,” Gilbert said. “Resist the urge to call the covert narcissist on their crap. They will just feel persecuted ― ‘another person who’s against me!’ ― and go on the offensive.”

A good way to handle your relationship with a covert narcissist is to differentiate what you are responsible for from what they are responsible for.

“Covert narcissists often project their self-responsibility onto others, making those around them feel guilty or obligated to ‘take care of’ their emotional well-being,” Alderete said.

Remember that unless someone is an elderly relative and you’re their actual caregiver, you are not in fact responsible for them in this way. Any help from you should come from a place of choice and care, not obligation.

“Boundaries are your best line of defense,” Moore said. “If you don’t have the emotional capacity to caretake, be sure to limit the frequency, length and emotional depth of your interactions with the covert narcissist.”

She also recommended developing a guilt-tripping radar to grow more resilient to the idea of being guilted and take the edge off the intensity of the emotion.

“Covert narcissists frequently use toxic guilt as a means of manipulation,” Alderete said. “Responding with something simple like, ‘I’m not available for that,’ or ‘I hear you, but I won’t be able to meet with you today,’ helps set clear and respectful boundaries while disengaging from their guilt-traps.”

Communal Narcissism

“Communal narcissism is a type of narcissism that focuses on gaining validation and praise for the appearance of altruistic efforts,” Cole said. “Despite their outward appearance, which is often that of an extremely generous, selfless person, communal narcissists exhibit all the typical narcissistic traits ― entitlement, lack of empathy, superficiality and a grandiose sense of self.”

Basically, a communal narcissist gets involved in charitable work and volunteer opportunities in their community ― but not out of genuine care for others or a desire to do good. Their true motivation is the attention, admiration and validation they expect to receive as a result.

“Communal narcissists only give their time, effort and money if they have an audience to praise them for it or if they can document it and share it later,” Cole said. ”And if they don’t get the applause they’re looking for, then they will become irritable, angry, sullen, or lash out at those closest to them.”

Despite appearing to be model citizens, communal narcissists can be incredibly two-faced, displaying emotional neglect, rage or even abuse toward their family and friends behind closed doors.

“These individuals build their identity around being selfless or morally superior. They often hide behind community roles, activism or parenting personas, but the motivation is self-serving,” said Tina Swithin, author of “Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle.”

How to deal with communal narcissists:

“If you have to engage with a communal narcissist, it’s important to maintain strong boundaries and recognize that their public displays of care and generosity do not necessarily extend to personal relationships,” Alderete said. “They are often more concerned with how they are perceived than with genuinely supporting others.”

She noted that many cult leaders display communal narcissism by using their charisma to position themselves as spiritual and moral authorities. That’s why it’s best to keep an emotional distance and take what people with these tendencies say with a grain of salt.

Perhaps the trickiest part about interactions with communal narcissists lies in the fact that they cultivate good reputations.

“This means when you’re dealing with a communal narcissist, there might be a lot of people who believe the narcissist is their selfless, altruistic image,” Cole said. “So if you directly or publicly call out a communal narcissist, you could receive a lot of backlash.”

She recommended getting your interactions with them in writing and avoiding situations in which you would be alone together ― as this could lead to an issue where it’s their word against yours.

Antagonistic Narcissism

“Antagonistic narcissists thrive on power and conflict,” Swithin said. “They can be aggressive, hyper-competitive and dismissive of others.”

Some researchers describe antagonistic narcissism as an element of overt narcissism rather than its own subtype, but it’s an important characteristic to consider regardless.

“Antagonistic narcissism is the facet of narcissism that is characterized by the maladaptive and antisocial traits of this personality style, including being entitled, manipulative and aggressive,” Cole said. “When a narcissist is exhibiting their antagonistic side, they appear exploitative, aggressive, difficult, hypercritical and impulsive.”

Antagonistic narcissists view much of life as a battlefield and feel a compulsive need to dominate and win. They seek to outdo others to establish superiority and get hostile when their ego is threatened.

How to deal with antagonistic narcissists:

“If you’re dealing with a narcissist who exhibits strong antagonistic behaviors, the best approach is to disengage as quickly as possible and limit interactions to what is absolutely necessary,” Alderete said.

She emphasized that this kind of antagonistic personality style can manifest as poor emotional regulation and interpersonal skills, a lack of empathy, blame-shifting and denial. Don’t try to reason with someone who displays these tendencies. Maintaining emotional distance, rather than getting dragged into conflict, is a good method of self-protection.

“Don’t take the bait,” Swithin advised. “Communicate in writing when possible and focus on logic over emotion. Prepare for them to weaponize your words in adversarial environments.”

Malignant Narcissism

“Malignant narcissists look a lot like grandiose narcissists, although they have a more intense and sinister feel to them,” Cole said. “They’re extremely calculating and vindictive. They use coercive control, or threats, intimidation, and humiliation to get what they want. They’re constantly suspicious and paranoid about people watching, harming, exploiting, or deceiving them, even without rational evidence.”

Alderete noted that malignant narcissism is the most severe form of narcissism and can closely resemble psychopathy.

“There’s a saying that all psychopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are psychopaths,” she explained. “However, malignant narcissists come the closest, as they are highly sadistic, entitled, devoid of empathy, and incredibly psychologically abusive.”

These kinds of narcissists derive pleasure from mistreating others and have no regard for the consequences of their actions.

“Malignant narcissism combines narcissism with antisocial traits like aggression, paranoia and a complete lack of empathy,” Swithin said. “These individuals often engage in long-term abuse tactics, including gaslighting and character assassination.”

How to deal with malignant narcissists:

“The best approach is to avoid engaging with a malignant narcissist entirely,” Alderete said. “However, if that’s not possible, maintaining extremely strong boundaries, documenting interactions and fostering a solid support system within your community is essential.”

She emphasized the potential danger posed by malignant narcissists, who can manipulate systems and people. You should take precautions to protect your physical and psychological well-being.

“Adult children of malignant narcissists may benefit from going no contact as this is the only way to heal from narcissistic abuse,” Gilbert said. “If you want to disengage from a malignant narcissist, don’t announce or explain what you’re doing as that will likely yield attack and ridicule. Just quietly stop responding or engaging and block their number on your phone.”

If you have to co-parent with a malignant narcissist, she recommended focusing on self-soothing, setting clear limits and aligning your communications with the BIFF protocol, which stands for “brief, informative, friendly and firm.”

“This type of narcissist has no concern for your feelings, goals, or well-being, so avoid sharing personal information with them,” Alderete said. “Keep interactions superficial and high-level to prevent them from gaining access to your personal world.”