why would this car behind me just honk at me cause i hit a curb like what does that have to do with you

— symone (@symoneeed) May 1, 2025

"YoU're AlwAyS tHe FiRst To LeEve wOrk"

god forbid i act my wage

— alfie (@alfienxo) April 29, 2025

One time I was at a party in LA and I thanked the homeowner for welcoming me into their home and they asked me if I was okay

— claire (@claireyael) April 30, 2025

born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from

— ً (@ppyowna) April 30, 2025

*showing a girl my room* Yeah and here's a fidget cube I stole from the mall *remembers she's Catholic* which I repented for

— Jamie (@transsexualdyke) April 29, 2025

this scottish guy, who i didnt recognize, came up to me and was like “bailey moon holy shit how have you been?” and then was like “it’s me, [redacted]! we slept together last summer” then introduced me to his gf who heard everything. this happened at the bar from past lives too.

— bailey moon (@Baileymoon15) April 29, 2025

there should be a separate TSA line for people who are apparently experiencing their first day on earth

— alli (@sonofalli) April 29, 2025

texting my therapist "hey, I don't think I can afford our weekly sessions anymore. but I really enjoyed getting to know you as a person, so can we get coffee once a week from 5-5:50 and just chat?"

— jolene of arc (@okaypompeii) April 30, 2025

remembering when my most mentally healthy friend was embarrassed about her screen time being so high (it was 3.5 hours) but it was because she was reading a book on her phone

— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) April 30, 2025