genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. like why are you doing all that

— lina (@evermoresivy) March 15, 2025

dog i met on my walk in the park who has to wear this because a hawk has lifted her up four times pic.twitter.com/5FBAfyisfN

— anna (@ikeaduvet) March 16, 2025

addicted to hitting shuffle on my spotify likes and skipping over thirty or forty of the worst songs i've ever heard

— bald ann dowd (@ali_sivi) March 17, 2025

when someone teaches me a board game pic.twitter.com/r7cnOhjHzW

— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) March 17, 2025

why are birthday freebies always a dessert what if i wanted a steak??

— soss behi ✰ (@sahbehii) March 17, 2025

mom’s going through a break up out loud on facebook pic.twitter.com/l9gUXjH5Cs

— lady brett ashley (@margebertha) March 16, 2025

why am I hitting the “how’s everything tasting over here” pose at 5 years old pic.twitter.com/xd6frKAPyy

— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) March 17, 2025

Sam Rockwell sitting off camera in Thailand before Mike White asks if he wants to give a monologue#WhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/JdjELJ9DqW

— T (@teewatterss) March 17, 2025

academic drag queen named TheSis

— boop (@xboxbodywash) March 17, 2025

me: *sends bcc email with myself as recipient*

email: *dings*

me: ooh what's that

— meghan (@deloisivete) March 17, 2025

I was being sheepish about spending $200 on a dress and my husband goes, “well maybe it would help if you thought about it as a $100 top and a $100 bottom?”

Where did he learn girl math??

— Alyssa ???? (@alyssaleann) March 20, 2025

She makes shit happen I can tell you that much https://t.co/9n8IlUYaFr

— popular loner????????♀️????♀️ (@milkyy_tweets) March 19, 2025

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

— ✨✨ (@EVA24011) March 19, 2025

Why does she have three children named Somersault https://t.co/c8u78lhRgg

— Ieah ⎕ ???????? (@pitbullstan69) March 19, 2025

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

— Cali (@calidaysay) March 20, 2025

If you finish every sentence with " As the prophecy foretold" Your coworkers will leave you alone.

— Rae's a little hell???????? (@omgshuddup) March 20, 2025

I fucking love girls who always put ✨✨ at the end of something positive like thanks Tinkerbell I needed that ????

— sleepy (@lolrelaxok) March 15, 2025

the only time the onion ever got my ass was how for YEARS i thought that jack nicholson actually had spilled a tupperware full of chilli and was banned from sitting courtside

— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) March 19, 2025

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 17, 2025