the week i moved to LA my (unhinged) roommate pointed at griffith observatory and said ‘that’s eddie murphy’s house’ and i believed it for seven years

— jamie loftus ???? (@jamieloftusHELP) February 19, 2025

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman

— Cannie Oakley: Local Cryptid (@Staceballs) February 18, 2025

if you have a pet carrier at the airport it’s my right to peek in like who’s that

— alexa (@mariokartdwi) February 18, 2025

Why can’t we just spell it brockly.

— ???????????????? ???????????????????????????? (@SkinMuffins) February 16, 2025

Your salary will compete with the cost of living https://t.co/g93IfJdSnc

— nana ???? (@callme_amani) February 18, 2025

I don’t get why iced coffee I make at home tastes so ASS!!! it’s all the same ingredients as at an overpriced coffee shop so what is the problem? is it because I don’t have any tattoos? like I’ll get a septum piercing I swear to god I will

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) February 19, 2025

accidentally became important at work pic.twitter.com/CCxDSSTvyQ

— erika (@yeeeerika) February 20, 2025

Had a dream that took place at a Nickelodeon Theme Park and I kept walking around warning people about “Chekhov’s Slime”

— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) February 19, 2025

this is the funniest community note i’ve ever seen. ???? https://t.co/urhSzt09zw

— shakeia (@curlyfro) February 20, 2025

me at fourteen for some reason https://t.co/Ka6ywm9tvE

— indie ???????? (@INDIEWASHERE) February 18, 2025

This couple on love is blind can’t believe how lucky they are to have found each other because they both love Christmas. It seems so soothing to be low key dumb

— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) February 16, 2025

Hey that’s awesome and I love it. I personally go to sleep looking like Adam Sandler https://t.co/R7U9s6jSHd

— pris (@pwiscila) February 16, 2025

flying out of dca and our pilot just said “they want me to tell you it’s going to be smooth sailing, but i have no idea.” girl— pic.twitter.com/JCYpKj296a

— shelby cole (@shelbylcole) February 19, 2025

if i was a bunny. i would thump my foot really hard

— julia (@FOAM1NG) February 18, 2025

sometimes i spoil myself pic.twitter.com/rEMlPdCrI8

— ???? (@kodstrangeer) February 19, 2025

what doesn’t kill you texts you 6 months later

— “ (@ayahtweets) February 15, 2025

me when my mother compliments me every once in a few years https://t.co/QWztW0x4Wv

— sea (@concrettewall) February 16, 2025

Remember millennial pink?

— Ashley Reese (@offbeatorbit) February 19, 2025

one time amy poehler and i were leaving the same restaurant and i was staring at her because i knew i recognized her but i couldn’t remember from where. so she says hi to me and i’m like “are a friend of [my mom’s name]” and she was like “i dont think so”

— bailey moon (@Baileymoon15) February 17, 2025

Mine is this https://t.co/1DAbpH7a2v pic.twitter.com/cKAPdhmQdu

— Shay ????????✨ (@ShayWoulahan) February 18, 2025

“go to hell” is basic. “i hope they randomly give your favourite fictional character a teenage child they didn’t know about, and the writers don’t know what to do with after one season” is smart. it’s possible. it’s terrifying. it’s happened to me

— anna⸆⸉ ???????? (@buckdownbad) February 19, 2025

my bad for thinking everyone has common sense btw

— z (@zabushka) February 18, 2025

My friend couldn’t remember the word vicariously so he said “I’m living bicuriously through you”

— Agita Christie (@pagan_hoetry) February 20, 2025

when im frustrated and think i've "tried everything" i have to remind myself i just thought about something a lot and have actually tried nothing

— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) February 20, 2025

you really have to admire how much everyone openly hates the owner of this app but refuses to leave because we were here first

— dena k. (@DenaKhalafallah) February 16, 2025