My daughters' school emailed the parents to announce that this afternoon's kindness club meeting was cancelled. My son has now taken to saying, "THE KINDNESS CLUB IS CANCELLED" whenever someone says anything mildly rude.

— ????Haley Stewart???? (@HaleyCarrots) April 9, 2025

Me to my 4 year old after my 2 year old kicks him in the face https://t.co/SM122Ctrs4

— Joe Bernstein (@Bernstein) April 9, 2025

My daughter said she likes lying because it makes her heart beat fast ???????????????????????????? girl wtf

— Im a st⭐️r (@xomamamiaaa) April 6, 2025

My kid: Mommy, why am I sick again?

Me: *thinking back to him doing the worm on the floor at walmart* probably because you didn’t finish your broccoli last night.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) April 10, 2025

my sister-in-law: I'm having a hard time finding happiness.

my 10yo: you should go to the corner store and get a blue slurpee.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) April 9, 2025

Oh my god, 6 year old just asked a post-bath question for the ages:

“Mama, in your whole life, how many objects have you gotten that were cursed?”

— Catherynne M. Valente (@catvalente) April 8, 2025

My kids are celebrating National Siblings Day just like I knew they would: fighting.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 10, 2025

School: Do not. I repeat. DO. NOT. Send your kids to school if they are experiencing a single symptom. No sniffles. No sneezes. No tummy aches. NOTHING.

Also School: *throws a parade for the class with the best attendance*

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 10, 2025

My kid thinks the neighbor girl’s name is Revord and I can’t wait to find out what it actually is

— meghan (@deloisivete) April 8, 2025

So right now I'm nursing the baby to sleep and:
- the 4 yo came downstairs (really) crying because she had dressed up as a bee and "stung herself"
- 6 yo came down sobbing because the 10 yo wants to go to the Naval Academy and he won't be with us at Christmases if he gets in

— Louise Lorent ???????? (@LorentLouise) April 9, 2025

ME: ...so not only did Walton Goggins not go to the finale, he and Aimee Lou Wood unfollowed each other on Instagram. On top of that, you have Jason Isaacs saying that people got close and then fell apart. You just gotta wonder.

MY WIFE (rubbing temples): The baby is crying.

— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) April 9, 2025

son: where are all my fries?!? you’re only supposed to eat a few!

me: you’re thinking of the dad tax—this is a dad tariff

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 10, 2025